More Love

My husband and I just returned from our second missions trip to New Orleans in the past 4 years---each one post-Katrina. We were especially thankful to share this trip, not only with our youth group, but with our oldest son, as well.

New Orleans.
Down there, we're so intentional.
We are, it seems, always "on."
Always looking for opportunities:
opportunities to love those rejected by others;
opportunities to give and serve without considering personal risk or cost;
opportunities to speak truth and hope and life into the heart of one who so desperately needs it;
opportunities to let Jesus use us in whatever way He chooses.

I'm convicted.  Deeply.
Here, in my small midwestern town,
day to day life finds me
comfortable.
lazy.
apathetic.
Shamefully, I'm not looking for those same opportunities when I leave my home.
I want my personal time.
I don't want the needs of others to infringe on my own life.
In my heart, I'll "cross on the other side" when seeing one who is different from me.
I don't want to give till it hurts; don't want to risk anything.
I often waste God-given opportunities to speak Jesus' words of life into the hearts of those who are without hope.

The contrast is stark.
And the realization hurts.


{Our guys praying outside the home of an elderly friend they'd made that week.}

I long for my heart to reflect Jesus in the ways I love and give and serve everyday, not just for a week every couple of years.
I don't want to have to go somewhere else for God to move my heart with compassion for the lost;
I want to be tender and sensitive to their needs when I go to the grocery store, the baseball bleachers, or my own front yard.
It's not a matter of simply trying harder or doing better.
It's all about Jesus:
His extravagant love poured out on me.
And me, learning to love Him more and more
and being a willing, available vessel through which He can do His thing.
That's my longing and my prayer.

My "Missions Trip" 2011

My husband and oldest son have been on a missions trip to Mexico for the past week.  I'm excited and filled with anticipation about all that God is doing in their hearts...how He is using them...what He's showing them...how He is opening their eyes to the people of this world and expanding their worldview. 

Throughout the past 19 years in ministry and this particular season of motherhood, I've frequently been the one to stay behind during these kinds of trips.  Admittedly, now that our boys are getting older, my opportunities have expanded a bit and I'm able to share in a good deal more than I could when they were younger.  Still, I recognize and embrace that my first priority and place of ministry needs to be here among my ever-growing boys. 

With that said, I've realized over the years that even when I can't be "out there"---across the border or across the ocean---God has specific things He desires to do in MY heart during these trips.  Despite the fact I'm not "down there," He has plans for me this week, too. 

I feel like I've been splayed out on the table for my Father God to do some serious convicting, revealing, and cutting away on my heart.  Curled up on the couch with my Bible last weekend, the tears fell unstoppable as He peeled back layers of habitual sin...things like worry and fear.  He shone a light in the dark corners of my heart and revealed the unspoken (but somehow expected to be understood) expectations that lie in wait; the idleness that so often prevails. 

And, ouch.  It hurts so good.

He opened my eyes to the ones beneath my roof.  I took each of my sons out on dates and was reminded of their unique wirings and gifts; their strengths and weaknesses; their abilities and needs.  I listened...really listened...to their hearts (and to my youngest, especially, who was most vocal about expressing how much he misses his dad and brother).  I was blown away as my eyes were opened to some new things God is doing in them, particularly in regard to leadership.  We laughed like crazy.  We danced.  We read.  We prayed.  We ate cookies and popcorn shrimp and Frappuccinos.  We invested in one another and made memories. 

The week returned dearly loved ones to my world, and I'm grateful for the connections God provided me with so many this week.  While I'd like to think I was ministering to and encouraging them, it's most often I who walk away the most encouraged. 

I even tackled some home painting projects and gave our oldest son's bedroom a mini-makeover (shhhh).

So, no, I haven't dug out my passport or crossed any borders for a while.  I haven't lived the amazing stories my husband and son and their team will share upon their return.  There is certainly much they've experienced that can't be duplicated or even put into words (but I'll eagerly listen as they try).  But even though I was "just" at home this week, God was clearly present and at work in this selfish heart of mine.  And I'm thankful...so very thankful...for the mission He laid before me.

Hearts of Surrender

Five years have passed since I originally wrote the post that follows.  Yet once again the annual Missions Conference is upon us and the cries of my heart are the same.  And once again, my three little-boys-turned-men will sit beside me.  I often find it hard to reign in the swirling, conflicting thoughts that jumble my mind.  And so I pray.

for their hearts
for my heart.
for a growing passion and love for God in each of them.
for a growing passion and love for God in me.
for their hearts of surrender.
for my heart of surrender.

letting go. trusting. believing.

Whatever they are. Whatever they do. Wherever they go.
May their hearts and their lives be all for Him.

***
originally posted March 11, 2006

We're in the midst of a full and exciting weekend at church. It's our annual Missions Conference, and we have numerous excellent opportunities to catch a vision for all that God is doing around His world!

It's an absolute joy to hear from missionaries who were sent out by our church over 40 years ago, served on the mission field for all these many years, and have now retired home and are actively serving God here. It's thrilling to send out new missionaries for the first time...young families with such passion and enthusiasm for what God has in store. It's awesome to support other young couples who are continuing their missions training in preparation for going to the field that God has chosen for them.

When our oldest son was in first grade, he declared that when he grew up, he was going to be a missionary pilot. Two weeks ago, we took our high school students on a college trip to visit two Christian colleges. While we were visiting one of them, our oldest son (now in 5th grade) told me, "I think I want to go to this college for aviation."

It's with this in mind that I arrived at this year's missions conference. My heart has been prayerful as I consider the desires that God has placed in our oldest son. I'm realizing how God could use weekends such as these to fan the fire that seems to burn in his heart. He could use this weekend to give our son further guidance and direction regarding His plan for him.

So while I'm praying for our young son as he sits beside me throughout this conference, I'm praying for my heart, too. You see, this young man beside me is my baby...my firstborn. And while I want more than anything for him to be walking with and serving the Lord in whatever way God chooses, my heart cries out for my own comfort. I don't like to think of any of our boys living in some far-off location. I want them close to their dad and me...safe and secure and comfortable.

But you know what? These boys aren't mine. They're God's. He is the only who who can bring them true life and satisfaction and joy. While I pray that God works mightily in the lives of our three young boys, I pray also that God will help me to hold them with an open hand. So often I feel that I have a tight grip wrapped around our sons. I need God's strength to pry my fingers open, one by one, and release our boys to His perfect care.

Oh, there's no better place to be than in the center of God's will. He can care for them so much better than I. And whether His plan for them is to become a missionary...a doctor...or an accountant , we pray they'll do it wholeheartedly out of love and obedience. Whatever they do, wherever they are, we pray that each one of them will have a burning desire to spread the news that we're sinners, desperately in need of a Savior.  Jesus Christ is that Savior.

Five Years Later...

I'm thinking about and praying for the people of this remote tribe in Papua New Guinea...

The ones who left an indelible mark on my heart.

Five years ago, right after our visit, they received the very first New Testament in their own language.

And they rejoiced. Oh, how they rejoiced.
It convicted me to realize that I so often take my multiple copies of God's Word for granted.

Today I'm wondering about them. And praying for them.

"And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:9-14

For more on our trip, see my original post.

When God Brings the World to You

We've known and loved a lot of kids over the past 18 years.

Many of them are now married with kids of their own.

Many are serving in their local churches---some in the U.S. and some across the globe.

So many fill our hearts with joy and thankfulness as we see how God is using them to make His name known.

This past school year we experienced a first. We had not one, not two, but three foreign exchange students actively involved in our youth group.

One from Chile. One from Ghana. One from Thailand.

And our lives are forever changed.

God used these students to expand our worldview. So often we can become focused solely on the here and now and the immediate needs we see right outside our window.

But these bold, courageous teenagers are in-the-flesh reminders that God is actively building His church around the world. I have loved hearing these students speak of their home countries. I've loved hearing their hearts and their passion to make Christ known in their homeland. To be honest with you, their boldness and courage often put me to shame, and I'm thankful for the challenge their lives posed to each one of us.

Tonight we (somewhat reluctantly) bid them farewell. It wasn't easy. We want them to stay. And yet we must release them. And so we do so with confidence and assurance (and pain), fully knowing that God is going to continue to use these young people to bring the gospel to their world. And whether or not they were better equipped to do that through their time with us, I don't know. But I do know that because of their time here, I am changed and challenged. Through watching and hearing them, I want to boldly, unashamedly share the Reason for the hope that I have.

As God brought the world to us this past year and united our hearts to dear ones we otherwise would not have met, we've clearly seen it's His love that unites us. It's the bond we share in Him that keeps us close. And that bond remains whether we're loving and serving side by side in the U.S. or on the other side of the world.

Missions and a Mom's Heart

We're in the midst of a full and exciting weekend at church. It's our annual Missions Conference, and we have numerous excellent opportunities to catch a vision for all that God is doing around His world!

It's an absolute joy to hear from missionaries who were sent out by our church over 40 years ago, served on the mission field for all these many years, and have now retired home and are actively serving God here. It's thrilling to send out new missionaries for the first time...young families with such passion and enthusiasm for what God has in store. It's awesome to support other young couples who are continuing their missions training in preparation for going to the field that God has chosen for them.

When our oldest son was in first grade, he declared that when he grew up, he was going to be a missionary pilot. Two weeks ago, we took our high school students on a college trip to visit two Christian colleges. While we were visiting one of them, our oldest son (now in 5th grade) told me, "I think I want to go to this college for aviation."

It's with this in mind that I arrived at this year's missions conference. My heart has been prayerful as I consider the desires that God has placed in our oldest son. I'm realizing how God could use weekends such as these to fan the fire that seems to burn in his heart. He could use this weekend to give our son further guidance and direction regarding His plan for him.

So while I'm praying for our young son as he sits beside me throughout this conference, I'm praying for my heart, too. You see, this young man beside me is my baby...my firstborn. And while I want more than anything for him to be walking with and serving the Lord in whatever way God chooses, my heart cries out for my own comfort. I don't like to think of any of our boys living in some far-off location. I want them close to their dad and me...safe and secure and comfortable.

But you know what? These boys aren't mine. They're God's. He is the only who who can bring them true life and satisfaction and joy. While I pray that God works mightily in the lives of our three young boys, I pray also that God will help me to hold them with an open hand. So often I feel that I have a tight grip wrapped around our sons. I need God's strength to pry my fingers open, one by one, and release our boys to His perfect care.

Oh, there's no better place to be than in the center of God's will. He can care for them so much better than I. And whether His plan for them is to become a missionary...a doctor...or an accountant , we pray they'll do it wholeheartedly out of love and obedience. Whatever they do, wherever they are, we pray that each one of them will have a burning desire to spread the news that we're sinners, desperately in need of a Savior...Jesus Christ is that Savior.

I can't even begin to adequately describe all that we experienced in the past two weeks! Before I offer even a feeble attempt, let me begin by thanking you for your faithful prayers and support as we prepared for and eventually went to Papua New Guinea. We felt enveloped in your prayers throughout our entire journey, and we just can't thank you enough for bringing us before our Father God in prayer.

After flying for so many hours, we were thankful to see the familiar faces of our missionary friends from church awaiting us at the airport. God bonded our hearts together in a unique way, and we are so thankful for the special memories we were able to make as we openly talked, laughed, and shared. Barb has an especially hospitable heart, and she eagerly introduced us to all the different fruits and vegetables of their region. And her cooking is outstanding! John's friendship with the local people of the nearby village encouraged and blessed our hearts. We learned what a great sense of humor he has, too. He's a riot! Both my husband and I are so thankful that God enabled us to get to know this precious couple on a deeper level. Having known and worked with their kids, we knew their parents had to be pretty special, too. But now we've heard their hearts firsthand, and our lives are richer for it.

God used my husband powerfully as he taught the high school kids from the book of Colossians. He spoke 6 times during the conference, and then was asked to preach at the Sunday evening church service, as well. He absolutely connected with the kids, and they quickly grew to love him. It was so fun to talk with, worship with, eat with, and play with this outstanding group of kids...but it certainly made us homesick for our own...our boys and our students alike.

One of the highlights of our visit was a trip to a tribe. The only way in and out is by plane...and this meant landing (and taking off) on what is said to be the most harrowing airstrip in PNG! The people of the village were waiting for us when we landed, and their welcoming smiles were a warming sight! This particular tribe will be receiving the first New Testament in their language next week, so they are excitedly planning for a big dedication service. The missionary who has worked with them for 30+ years showed us around, and his heart for them was evident. One of the tribal women prepared us a delicious lunch of vegetables cooked in bamboo, and we enjoyed feasting on it with our fingers while sitting in the missionary's hut, surrounded by new friends.

Oh, there's so much more to tell, but I'll just briefly highlight some of the most memorable moments: * a trip to the market * my husband's trip(s) to "the River" with the guys (he loves to tell these stories) * visiting a coffee plant * sharing special time with Barb and other missionary wives * a spider the size of my outstretched hand (no exagerration!) in our hotel room * our stay in Sydney, Australia on the way home *

Oh, yes, we've got lots of stories to tell...but you can forget all our stories and remember this one simple thing: God is building His church throughout the world. The people may not have bikes or cars or even roads. They may not have water or electricity or any of the modern conveniences we view as important. Yet God's Word is going forth. The tribe we visited consists of about 1,000 people, 400-500 of which are believers. Their faces radiated with such peace and joy, and my heart has been deeply challenged as I've considered the joy and contentment that filled the hearts of those who have nothing in the world's eyes...but are rich and fulfilled and completely satisfied in Jesus.

Thanks again for your love and prayers for our family. We're overwhelmingly grateful to have you in our lives!

Don't Fret

God has been using so many means...including Philippians 4...to minister to and encourage my heart this weekend. My husband and I are departing on a missions trip in just two weeks. Our precious boys will be left in the care of their loving grandparents for 12 days. Oh, how this mama's heart aches as reality sets in and I realize that I really and truly will be leaving the country, as well as our cherished young men.

There have been so many "fleshly" reasons to worry and fret, and unfortunately, I've given in to my flesh many times in recent weeks. But in the midst of all this, God has used our dear friends and family to hold us up and direct our focus to Him. This weekend has been such a clear reminder of God's love for me. He's used His children to remind me of His faithfulness and sovereignty. Two days ago I was feeling so overwhelmed and fearful. But how I praise God for those dear ones who have come alongside us and held us up when we felt so weak.

I looked up Philippians 4 in "The Message" and love how it's written:

"Celebrate God all day, everyday. I mean, revel in Him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive.

He could show up any minute!

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious---and best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into His most excellent harmonies.

Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Philippians 4:4-9, 13 ~ The Message