Year's End

I've often shared quotes or entire prayers from The Valley of Vision:  A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions.  If you don't yet have a copy, I encourage you to get one. I assure you, you'll love it! I use this little book as a companion in my quiet times, and God has used it in profound ways to prepare and convict my heart.  This prayer, entitled "Year's End," has been on my heart over the last days.  It seems an appropriate response to yesterday's post.  So let it be.

O LOVE BEYOND COMPARE,
Thou art good when thou givest,
when thou takest away,
when the sun shines upon me,
when night gathers over me.

Thou hast loved me before
the foundation of the world,
and in love didst redeem my soul;
Thou dost love me still,
in spite of my hard heart, ingratitude, distrust.

Thy goodness has been with me
during another year,
leading me through a twisting wilderness,
in retreat helping me to advance,
when beaten back making sure headway.

Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead;
I hoist sail and draw up anchor,
with thee as the blessed Pilot of my future
as of my past.

I bless thee that thou hast veiled my eyes
to the waters ahead.
If thou hast appointed storms of tribulation,
thou wilt be with me in them;
If I have to pass through tempests of persecution
and temptation,
I shall not drown;
If I am to die,
I shall see thy face the sooner;
If a painful end is to be my lot,
grant me grace that my faith fail not;
If I am to be cast aside from the service I love,
I can make no stipulation;
Only glorify thyself in me whether in comfort or trial,
as a chosen vessel meet always for thy use.

unanswered prayer?

Photo credit:  our firstborn

"God answered my prayers!"

There were those words again.  

And honestly, they kind of stung.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm awed by the power of prayer.  

I love bringing hearts and needs and longings before the Holy God of the universe,

asking Him for the miracle that only He can do.

I relish in knowing that I'm helpless---
that I've got nothing----
and I need His mighty hand of intervention.

But the truth is this:

It seems we've become fond of acknowledging answered prayer only if God gives us what we asked; 

if He does things "our" way;

if we get our desired outcome.

But what about when He says no?

Has He then not answered?

Has He been unfaithful?

Has He been unfair?

We don't like to acknowledge it,

but there are times God answers our prayers with "no."

It's not because He doesn't love us.

It's not because He doesn't care.

It's not because He wants to make us miserable.

As a loving heavenly Father,

He desires His best in our lives.

His very best.
And as a loving parent,
He knows that His very best sometimes means "no."
For if He always gave us what we asked,
our tendency might be to glory in the gift,
rather than the Giver.
A life of comfort and ease and getting everything we desire
may never cause us to run headlong into His arms,
broken, needy, desperate for His touch.
And we may never discover that it's not the gift
that satisfies our longings,
fills our souls,
and completes us fully.
It is Him alone.

Our God---whether He gives us what we pray for or not---
always, always, always
answers our prayers.
Whether He says yes, no, or wait,
we can rest and be confident,
knowing He loves us and will always do what is best for us.

"Call to Me and I will answer you,

and will tell you great and mighty things

that you have not known."

Jeremiah 33:3

The Time of Singing (and Praying and Baking and Celebrating) Has Come ~ Day 19

I've detected a pattern of late.
When I've got a lot on my mind, I bake.
And I pray.
I bake and I pray.
I pray and I bake.
And I end with a whole kitchenful of stuff.
It seems I bake a lot more these days.
Which, thankfully, means that I'm praying more these days, too.
I spent the whole morning in the kitchen.
I decided to whip up a batch of dulce de leche cupcakes.
(I added a teaspoon of cinnamon to the batter).
But I still had dulce de leche left (and more praying to do),
so I decided to bake up a batch of dulce de leche brownies, as well.

The end result was this:

And this:

And this:

Yes, my firstborn got his driver's license today! 
And this mama is learning better how to bake...and pray...and trust.
And we are most definitely stocked and ready to celebrate when he gets home!

Congratulations, Drew!  We love you tons!  XOXO

Five Years Later...

I'm thinking about and praying for the people of this remote tribe in Papua New Guinea...

The ones who left an indelible mark on my heart.

Five years ago, right after our visit, they received the very first New Testament in their own language.

And they rejoiced. Oh, how they rejoiced.
It convicted me to realize that I so often take my multiple copies of God's Word for granted.

Today I'm wondering about them. And praying for them.

"And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:9-14

For more on our trip, see my original post.

Loads of Fun

From the time our boys were little, I taught them to fold their own laundry.

It was a game of sorts. At least that's what I told them (shhhhhh...).

I'd bring up the basket from the laundry room and sort (ok, fling...it was a game for me, too) clothes onto individual piles for each family member. I folded the laundry for my husband and me. And each son folded his own. Granted, my expectations weren't real high. And their folds were anything but perfect. But we'd crank up the music and fold laundry together, and then the boys would put their laundry away. Again, not perfect. But that was not my intent. It was time together. Time to teach a skill. Time to work together. Serve together. Time to connect.

These days, with our oldest son enrolled in high school away from home, his pile of laundry has become my responsibility once again. And with our middle son's busier schedule, he's often not here for laundry-folding either. So, yes, I'm folding a little more laundry these days. It's not the itty bitty sleepers and socks of yesterday. It's big man clothes. In fact, I often have to look at the labels in their jeans to discern whose jeans are whose...they all look so much like my husband's.

With my laundry-folding crew diminishing, my laundry-folding days are a bit quieter. More reflective. And as I'm folding, I find I'm praying a lot more.

For instance...
As I fold their shirts, I'm praying for their hearts...that they'll be completely sold-out to Jesus.

Sometimes I fold shirts that feature some of my family's particular interests...bass playing, baseball, running. This is a reminder to me to thank God for each family member's gifts and passions; to ask God to invest those passions in His kingdom.

Jeans kind of bring to mind hard work, so as I fold their jeans, I'm reminded to pray for their industry and discipline.

Jeans also bring to mind a casual-ness, which reminds me of friends and hanging out. So perhaps I'll pray for their relationships and their interactions, asking God to give them wisdom and discernment in their friendships.

Sorting socks turns my thoughts to where my family goes...that they will walk uprightly, run from evil, and chase after the things of God.

Now lest you think that every laundry-folding day is a spiritual retreat, it's not. Sometimes I'm cranking talk radio. Sometimes I'm enjoying my youngest son's antics. And sometimes I *gulp* forget to pray. But rather than viewing this particular chore as a task to dread and put off, I'm trying to view it and invest it as an opportunity to pray for the ones I hold so dear.

Capture his heart..

School begins once again this week. This year our line-up includes a high school sophomore, an 8th grader, and a 6th grader.

I look at these handsome, capable boys with such God-given potential. Though far from perfect, I see in them an ever-growing sense of who He made them to be.

When they were babies, I began praying a prayer...a simple prayer. Cradling them in my arms...leaning over their crib...tiptoeing into their rooms and kissing each forehead at night, I'd pray, "Capture his heart, Lord."

Capture has been defined as
To take captive; to seize.
To gain possession or control of
To attract and hold


As we embark upon this brand new school year, my dreams, goals, and desires are many. I want each of our sons to grow and flourish. I want them to lead. I want them to succeed. But more than high grades, acceptance by peers, and worldly success, I'm crying out, "Oh, God, capture their hearts. Take control of their lives and seize them for your very own. Draw them...hold them...use them. Help them to find their greatest delight and only satisfaction in You."

The prayer that began so many years ago continues today. May it be true of their dad and me, too.

Capture our hearts, God. May we be wholly yours.

Watching God Move

Do you ever assume to know the mind of God?

I do.

Last year God led us to send our oldest son to a large public high school. While it was a difficult year in many ways, it was the best thing in the world for him. He grew, he was challenged, and he flourished. He gained a heart for the world around him and embraced his faith as his own. Yes, there were many difficult things about it, but we all agreed it was a welcome year of sometimes painful growth and maturity. And we were resolved that there he would stay.

Because God had led and directed us to that school a year ago, we assumed that was the way He was leading this year. So when various things came up that suggested we might consider a different school this year, I closed the door and refused to listen. All correspondence that came to our house was read and promptly thrown in the trash. Emails were read and deleted. After all, God had spoken. Our minds were made up. And we knew where our son was supposed to go. Besides, the suggested new option was completely out of the realm of possibility. It was unrealistic. In our flesh, we couldn't make it happen. Therefore, end of discussion---at least in my mind.

Still, the prompting continued and even increased. Finally, my husband and I simultaneously stopped and looked at each other, suggesting, "Maybe we should at least pray about this." Well, duh! Even then, though, we agreed that a change in schools would require a complete and utter miracle. We didn't have what it took, so if God was leading us down a different path, He would miraculously need to come through in a big, big way.

My husband brought our son into the conversation, and admittedly, I was unhappy about that decision. The last thing I wanted was to jerk our son's emotions around and give him the impression this other school was a possibility when we knew all-too-well it would take a miracle for our son to attend there. But my husband---who has great foresight and insight---wisely reminded me, "He's not a little boy anymore. He's a young man. I want him to be part of this decision-making process. I want him to join us in prayer. And if God somehow moves here, I want him to watch it happen. I want him to see God move."

We brought our hearts and our desires before the Lord in those coming days. We laid it all out before Him, asking Him to lead us...to guide us...to make us pliable. We asked Him to show us what to do. And we reminded Him we didn't have the means for sending our son to this school.

And then God moved...in a big, big way. I'll never forget the phone call my husband made to me on one particular afternoon.

"You better sit down. God provided that miracle!"

Together we sobbed on the phone that day, so overwhelmed by our own doubt and lack of faith; so overwhelmed by His goodness and grace. Oh, we thought we knew His heart. We pridefully thought we didn't need to pray. But, oh, what we would have missed out on had we not sought Him once again.

How many times have I simply plodded through, thinking I've got this one covered? I can handle this one on my own? How many times has worry been my preferred coping mechanism, rather than bringing each concern, each decision before my all-wise, all-loving heavenly Father? How many times have I put Him in a box, somehow believing the subject at hand is too small or too insignificant or even too familiar to bring before Him?

I learned a crucial lesson this summer. I learned that when I'm prideful---when I assume to know God's will and think I've got everything figured out on my own---I miss out on sweet communion with Him. When I fail to consult Him---when I trust my own abilities and understanding---I miss out on Him gently and lovingly humbling me and getting my desires in line with His. When I fail to bring my heart before my God, I miss out on untold blessings and yes, miracles.

God humbled me this summer. He woke me up. Watching Him do the seemingly impossible ignited in me a passion, a burning fire to pray. And as never before, I want to model that for our sons. I want them to see in me a mom whose first response is to seek the Lord in all things; to bring Him my heart in the bigger than life decisions, as well as for the seemingly ordinary day to day choices. I want to see Him work. I want to see Him answer. I want to see Him align my heart to His so that my life shines a light on Him.

"O Lord, all my longing is before You;
my sighing is not hidden from You."
Psalm 38:9

[I discovered an astonishing truth: God is attracted to weaknesses. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need Him.] ~ Jim Cymbala

I'll Be Praying for You

It rolls right off our tongues.

"I'll be praying for you."

At least it does for me. There have been times in my life when those five words have become part of a greeting. Or parting words. It's something that's said when hugging a hurting loved one. And sadly, that's sometimes where it ends.

Is that all God wants from me? A polite salutation of words? A "filler" when I don't what else to say?

It hurts to admit this, but there have been many times I've uttered those words, "I'll be praying for you." And then I walk away. I get distracted. I get caught up in life and my schedule and my family. And I forget.

Oh, God forbid that I forget.

Most mornings, I have the pleasure of driving our oldest son to school. Daily I ask him what's on his agenda for that day; how I can be praying for him. And now here's the painful part: More often than not, I'd drop him off at the door, say our goodbyes, pull out of the parking lot, flip on talk radio to listen to on my drive home, launch into my day, and neglect to pray for the very things my son had asked me to pray for. It pretty much makes me feel sick to my stomach even at this very moment.

But God (there's those favorite words again) woke me up. Oh, I'm so glad He did. He convicted me and showed me my foolishness. My sin.

I sensed Him challenging me to turn the radio off on my drive home from school; to use those quiet moments to pray for our son. For me, it's that optional "noise" that is most often the distraction that keeps me from praying.

God has also shown me how the everyday tasks of life can be turned into opportunities to pray. When I'm folding laundry, I pray for my family members. When I'm washing dishes, I'm frequently praying for friends. When I hug a loved one at church and tell them I'll be praying, I'm striving to make a conscious effort to do so immediately...and to write it down so I'll remember to pray throughout the days that follow.

I want to be a woman of prayer. I want to be the kind of woman that, when I say I'll be praying, it's not a flippant response. It's not mere words. I want those I love to be confident that I'm taking their needs and their concerns straight to the heart of God.

And as I persevere and grow in prayer, I want to watch in anticipation as He changes us...each of us. I want to patiently, joyfully, and expectantly wait to see how He's going to answer and show Himself faithful.

"My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord;

in the morning I will direct it to You,

and I will look up."

Psalm 5:3

National Day of Prayer

I'm exceedingly grateful that God doesn't leave us as we are, but is regularly prodding us on to new growth and deeper, richer communion with Him.

God has taken my husband and me on a journey of sorts throughout the past couple of years. He's ignited in us a passion to pray. I'll be the first to say that, while I received Christ as my Savior at an early age and recommitted my life to Him in Jr. High, prayer had never been a consistent, vibrant part of my walk with Christ. Oh sure, I went to Him with my list of needs and requests, but I was somewhat clueless when it came to praising and worshiping Him for Who He is. I rarely took the time simply to linger in His presence. I failed to be still before Him and allow Him to whisper in my ear. My heart has been so encouraged by the request of one of Jesus' disciples...one of the men who walked with Him and knew Him most closely. He said, "Lord, teach us to pray..." That has been my prayer, as well.

Throughout the past couple of years, God has been speaking to me. He's been telling me what He wants. It's no secret. I've clearly heard Him calling me to prayer. I liken it to Him gently placing His hand beneath my chin and lifting it to Him so that He's all I see. And over the past year, we've watched Him doing the same thing in the lives of our church family and friends. One by one, God's people are standing up and agreeing that there's more...so much more...that God longs to do in and through us! God has even used people whom we otherwise would have never met to motivate, challenge, and encourage us to seek God's face! As I see this ripple effect among our church family and friends, my heart is gladdened and exuberant! As I've frequently told my husband, I believe we're on the cusp of God doing some unbelievable, miraculous things within the Body! It blesses my heart to see believers gathered together in prayer and ascribing worth to Jesus Christ!

Today, on this National Day of Prayer, I'm excited to gather with our church family this evening for a Concert of Prayer. My heart is further elated that some of our high school students will be joining the pastoral staff in leading this service. These are the students we love and do life with; the students who are passionately following after God with their hearts and lives. I'm thankful that our three young sons are hearing and seeing what it means to seek God's face, and I pray that God will ignite in them a passion to know Him intimately and deeply.

"A great emphasis in prayer is what God desires to do in us. He desires to get us under His loving authority, dependent on His Spirit, walking in the Light, motivated by His love, and living for His glory." ~ William Thrasher