...loving our children...[the conclusion]

This is the conclusion of a 9-part series on loving our children.  If you'd like to see where we've been, please go back to part 1/intro...

[Keeping a quiet heart]  I love the simple statement of faith in Psalm 16:5:

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;

you hold my lot.

Do you remember the story we're told in the New Testament about the time Jesus slept through a crazy storm while his disciples quaked?  Elizabeth Elliot wrote that he could, ''...because His Father was in control.  His was a quiet heart.  We see him move serenely through all the events of His life---when He was reviled, He did not revile in return.  When He knew that He would suffer many things and be killed in Jerusalem, He never deviated from his course.  He had set his face like flint.  He sat at supper with one who would deny Him and another who would betray Him, yet He was able to eat with them, willing even to wash their feet.  Jesus, in the unbroken intimacy of His Father's love, kept a quiet heart." 

Isn't that what we desire?  A heart that is at rest in what our Father gives?  A heart that is confident in Him, even amidst disappointments, chaos, and trials? 

So what about us when the kids whine and tear apart their rooms?  What about when they throw a tantrum in the store and embarrass us?  What about when we're feeling forgotten and lonely in the season of parenting little ones?  Remember this, dear one.  Everything we face in life is assigned by God.  Everything.  So often I think it's different circumstances that would make me happy or more fulfilled or more content.  But how wrong I am.  God is using those very circumstances I want to shy away from to make me look more like Him.  How will I respond in the midst of it?  Do I really believe He's assigned my portion and my cup?  That He is enough?

As mamas, we have a big, often overwhelming, mission before us.  But God's grace is greater still. 

Jesus said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

So when we blow it, when we lose our tempers, when we feel like utter failures, look to the cross.  There He purchased our forgiveness and the power to grow in godliness.  We're not equal to the task, but He is!  He lavishly gives the grace, wisdom, and strength we need to embrace the season of motherhood with joy.  And through Him, we can love our children as He designed. 

...loving our children...[part 8]

This is part 8 in a series on loving our children.  If you haven't already, I encourage you to read the groundwork that was laid in the intro/part 1...

[Seizing the day]  Psalm 90:12 reads:

"So teach me to number our days

that we may get a heart of wisdom."

Older women continually tell us to enjoy these days of motherhood---they go so fast.  When my boys were all very small, I remember wishing to retaliate through gritted teeth and a pasted smile on my face, "Oh, yeah?  Well, not fast enough!"  Seriously, though, I thought I knew.  But the truth is, they go faster than I'd ever dreamed.  I blinked.  And now we're making plans to take our firstborn on college visits. 

Embrace.  Invest.  Be intentional.  Be all there.  Don't simply let the days "happen."  Don't wish them away.  Don't wish for a new, different season.  Courageously welcome and make the most of each one.  Because every stage, every season---whatever it is---is a gift; a good gift.  Each one is God-designed to draw our hearts and our attention to Him; to make us look more like Him.  All of it has been sifted through His all-wise, loving hands for our good and His glory. 

I've shared this song on my blog before, but I'm sharing it again because I love it so much.  Its message resonates in my heart, and I trust God will use it to pour courage and vision and strength into your heart today.  ***If you wish to view the video, please pause music at the bottom of the page first.

...loving our children...[part 7]

This is part 7 in a series on loving our children.  We laid the groundwork in the intro/part 1...

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

the fruit of the womb a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

are the children of one's youth.

Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"

Psalm 127:3-4

[Nurturing tender thoughts of them]   How do you view your children?  Sadly, much of the world views them them as a burden or sacrifice; a necessary pitstop on the road to something more fulfilling. 

But in Psalm 127, Solomon uses these words:  heritage, fruit, reward.

And he concluded by saying, "Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"

Is that the heart we have when thinking about our children?  Allowing God's truth to penetrate and transform our hearts will also transform our attitudes and actions.  He says that children are a reward; a good and beautiful gift from Him.  The things we say and the things we do are shaped by what we think about.  That's why Paul tells us in Philippians 4 to think on what is true and honorable and just and pure and lovely and commendable and excellent and worthy of praise! We must train ourselves to take our thoughts captive; to dwell on truth about God's view of children. This will have a powerful effect on the way we love and nurture our children!

...loving our children...[part 6]

This is a portion of a series on loving our children.  To catch up on where we've been, see the introduction/part 1...

[Prioritizing them]  Titus 2:4 indicates that our husbands and children should take priority over all other earthly relationships. 

...train the young women to love their husbands and children. 

Our family is to get our firstfruits...our best---not simply the leftovers I so often try to give them.  We should prefer them and love them over all others.  Elizabeth George says, "Don't give away to others what hasn't first been given away at home."  Ouch. 

For example, I can't tell you the number of times I've prepared a delicious meal for a new mom and her family, only to turn around to my hungry family who is wondering with eager eyes, "What are we having?"  And I embarrassingly throw a frozen pizza at them.  Over the years, I've learned to double the meal I'm preparing to take to another family so that my family can enjoy the same thing.  But this is just one example.  What about the way we smile and interact with the people in the halls at church contrasted with the irritation and impatience that spews out of our mouths when we get to the car?  What about the unhurried time we give to a friend on the phone, but the "not now" that our toddler receives as soon as we hang up?  As Jesus fills us to spill us, our own dear ones within our walls should get our very best. 

...loving our children...[part 5]

***This is part 5 in a series on loving our children.  Please see the intro/part 1 to see where we've been...

[Celebrating]  We have the glad privilege of establishing family traditions!  Whether it's the
ordinary day-to day-routine or the extraordinary, much anticipated holidays, we're told to tell the next generation about God.  Through traditions---big or small---we get to share our history with God:  how He has worked, shown Himself, and provided.  We get to testify to His awesome power; how He's flooded us in His grace and forgiveness.  That's what traditions are all about.  They're not simply habits.  They're platforms for announcing who He is and how He's worked in our lives.

Psalm 78 gives us a blueprint...

We will not hide them from their children,

but tell to the coming generation

the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might,

and the wonders that He has done (v.4).

Are we actively, purposefully telling our kids our story?
Sharing how God has acted on our behalf?
Do they know where we've come from and where we've been?
How God has been faithful through it all?
Are we living out our values and priorities in the way we do life?
Do our celebrations throughout the year reflect the Author of life?

Through the big days and the seemingly mundane, we get to testify about who God is!  Let's be faithful and intentional!

...loving our children...[part 4]

See the introduction to this series here...

[Giving]  Yep, it seems we're always on call. The truth is, I can be pretty selfish. Sometimes it's easier for me to serve outside my four walls than within them.  Ouch.  It's easy for me to slip into an attitude of "me first" or "what about me?" I can become all about my time, my comfort, my needs. But we see clearly from Scripture that God calls us to serve like He did. Matthew 20:26 puts it in perspective:

"But whoever would be great among you must be your servant."

Sadly, I can often be demanding in what I think I deserve (i.e. time). I can give and meet the needs of my family, but I can do it with a chip on my shoulder, making sure they know how much they're inconveniencing me. But my heart's longing is that I learn to give like Jesus did. Wholly, selflessly, and sacrificially. We as moms get to give smiles and rides and encouragement. We give compliments and meals and praise. We give understanding and grace and mercy. We give when we don't feel like giving. We give because He gave to us. 

Edith Schaeffer once wrote, "Someone has to create family memories and undertake the wondrous task of having the family become a work of art. Someone has to be the nest maker and interior decorator. Someone has to take time to pray and plan surprises. Someone must see the family as worth fighting for, worth calling a career, worth the hard work of training a child in godliness, worth the relentless tasks involved in running a home." That someone is us. It's our role as moms---to give generously without expecting anything in return.

...loving our children...[part 3]

[Choosing joy] Psalm 113:9 says,

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!"

We as women are the thermostat of our homes. It's my responsibility to create the atmosphere within my four walls. I've seen far too often how my bad attitude, unwise words, and quick temper can impact, influence, and deflate the guys in my house. It can have a definite chilling effect! However, I've also seen how a positive attitude, words of affirmation, and a heart filled with the joy of the Lord can cause my guys' hearts to soar. My loving words, reactions, and responses bring warmth, comfort, and security. But how does this work in real life?  Is it even possible?

As I pointed out in Part 1, all of these disciplines begin at the feet of Jesus:  allowing Him to fill us and give us His perspective.  Additionally, I believe it's good to know our triggers. My triggers seem to be very selfishly based---when the unending questions and demands infringe upon MY time; when I care more about MY agenda and to-dos rather than the hearts of the dear ones in  my home.

Oh, we can feel the pressure mounting up in us, can't we? We know when we're going to lose it. Taking a mom time-out to regain perspective and composure is ok. Having a go-to verse that we read or, better yet, memorize is essential.  That can diffuse or restore calm. When the pressure is rising, we can call out to God, knowing and believing He will give us the grace and strength needed for each moment.  Because of and through Him, we truly can be joyful mother of children.

...to love their children...[part 2]

***This is part 2 in a series on loving our children.  To read the introduction/part 1, click here.

[Teaching & Training] Proverbs 22:6 exhorts us,

"Train up a child in the way he should go;

even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Do our kids see us living out what we believe? We're always teaching something, whether for good or for bad. From the earliest ages, we enroll them in swimming lessons, music lessons, sports, and ballet. And there's nothing wrong with those things. But are we making a conscious decision to pour truth into their hearts? We are on assignment from God to teach our children. Even from an early age, they are picking up on what we value and treasure. We can instill God's truth from the earliest ages through memorizing Scripture, praying with them, singing with and to them, and reading with them.

Helpful Resources

Music ~

Sovereign Grace Music:  http://www.sovereigngracemusic.org/

• Walking With the Wise (13 songs for kids based on the book of Proverbs)
• To Be Like Jesus (12 songs for kids that teach the fruit of the spirit)
• Awesome God (worship songs focusing on God's attributes)

Seeds Family Worship:  http://www.seedsmusicstore.com/

Colin Buchanan:  http://www.colinbuchanan.com.au/

• Boom Chicka Boom (30 track Bible bonanza)
• Baa Baa Doo Baa Baa (the memory verses)

Steve Green

• Hide 'Em In Your Heart

Books for Children:

• My ABC Bible Verses:  Hiding God's Word In Little Hearts by Susan Hunt
• The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
• The Big Picture Story Bible by David R. Helm
• The Lamb by John R. Cross

[part 3 tomorrow]

...to love their children...[part 1]

A couple of friends have asked me to post what I shared with my young mom friends when I spoke to them at a recent gathering. 

When I agreed to speak (somewhat reluctantly, at first), the passage that God seemed to impress on my heart was Titus 2:4:  "Older women, train the younger women to...love their children."  Funny....because I was married at 19, I've long viewed myself as a younger woman desperately need of older, wiser women in my life; women who are setting the pace and gladly embracing their role as wife and mama.  While I still do need wiser, older women speaking truth into my life, the fact remains that I, too, *gulp* am an older woman.  And God admonishes me to speak truth into the hearts of younger women.

Apparently, loving our husbands and children doesn't come as naturally as we might think, or God wouldn't have included this instruction in His Word.  It is a learned response; a working of the Holy Spirit and a willing obedience that gladly embraces God's call. But what does it look like? I'm going to be sharing some practical ways to embrace and make the most of each moment of motherhood; to discover joy in our current season without wishing it away.  That's not to say I've done it all right.  Much of what I'll share are lessons I've learned (and am still learning) the hard way, through failure and missed opportunities.  I'm so thankful for the grace and mercy of a loving heavenly Father.

The last thing I want to do is give you another to-do list. We all know that we have enough of those, and my heart is not to put any additional pressure on any one of us. I do, in fact, want there to be balance. I want us to be awestruck and sobered by the monumental task ahead of us in loving and shepherding the hearts of our kids. And I want us to be incredibly relieved that Jesus says to us as he said to Martha, "Only one thing is necessary. Sit at my feet. Be still before me. Learn from me."

One of my favorite authors, a wise woman by the name of Elizabeth George, once said, "You can't impart what you don't possess." And the same is true as we pour into and shepherd the hearts of our little ones. Unless we've been filled and changed by the holy God of the universe, we've got nothing lasting to give them. And so before anything else, we need to get alone with our Father God each day. It might--in fact, it will likely---mean sacrifice. It might mean getting up earlier in the morning. It might mean foregoing our cherished facebook fix. It might mean letting those dirty dishes sit in the sink till later. But it's needed. It's crucial. We must allow our heavenly Father to teach us and convict us and conform us to His image. Only then can we begin to love and nurture our children as He designed.

Once we've met with Him and allowed Him to fill us, these other things are the natural overflow. It's not a matter of trying harder. It comes down to our Father God's love flowing through us. We're filled to be spilled. And as we're filled, these things will be true of us:

[Praying for our kids] Jesus said in Matthew that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God. When the disciples heard it, they said, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus replied in Matthew 19:26:

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

You and I are raising rich kids to be kingdom-minded. The task before us is daunting. And it's impossible without God. We need to be praying for our kids: giving them up to the Lord, praying for their greatest need of salvation. We must be praying for character, their natural, sinful bents, their hunger for God. If we don't pray for them, who will? As we pray for our kids, God draws them ever deeper into our hearts.

[to be continued...]