Surrender

As I reflect upon 2006, I believe the overriding theme is SURRENDER. No, it’s not because I’m some kind of noble example when it comes to surrender. It’s not because it comes easily for me. It’s because God, in His graciousness, gave me a better picture of surrender this year. Despite my initial insistence upon my own way, He loved me enough to continue piercing my heart with the truth of His words.

I can’t help but recognize how these past months have been uniquely used of Him to refine and purify my heart. As I reflect on this year’s events, I can see how God used these months to bring me to the end of myself. Oh, how I wrestled with Him, telling Him what I wanted Him to do. I told Him what I wanted to do for Him...and then I expected Him to bless it. I clung to my will all the while asking for Him to show me His.

But I learned something, albeit slowly. As long as I’m clinging to my will, He can’t show me His. It’s only when we release the grip we have on our wills...when we surrender ourselves and our lives to Him...that He will reveal His all-wise, loving, and perfect plan.

I distinctly remember the afternoon when He brought me to the end of myself. As I sat alone in the presence of God, I remember sprawling out across my desk with my hands open and outstretched. They were no longer clenched. Through the tears that freely flowed, I finally told God that I was willing to embrace His plan. In humility, I confessed my sin in demanding my own way, and I gladly accepted His plan. Such joy and freedom flooded my soul as I relinquished any rights to my life and gave my loving heavenly Father full access to my heart. It was at this time that the words of Clay Crosse’s song, "I Surrender All" began echoing in my ears and heart:

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams

Though the cost to follow costs me everything

I surrender all my human soul desires

If sacrifice requires that all my kingdoms fall

I surrender all.

Oh, this was a process that my heart had to go through...a series of purification and refinement. I’m so thankful for the pain and the lessons of those months. I’m thankful that God reminded me that He’s always working for my good and His glory. There’s no better place to be than in the center of God’s will.

As we're about to close the book on 2006, my heart is so overwhelmed. It's been an incredible year...not because things were always carefree and easy; not because there were no trials. It's been incredible because through the highs and the lows, the mountaintops and the valleys, God has been faithful. He's brought new growth and taught me even more about who He is.

May He continue to give each one of us a hunger and a desire to know Him and love Him; to be a vibrant reflection of Him in our families and our communities; to trust His heart even when we don't understand His purposes.

Happy New Year, Everybody. I join you in anticipating all that God holds in store for each of us in the new year!