No Fear

Confession time:

When my sons go for a bike ride, I fear they'll be hit by a car...or that our youngest, least experienced rider will lose control going down a hill.

When my husband needs to travel (as in, outside of our small city), I fear he'll be in a car accident...or a plane crash, as the case may be.

When push comes to shove and I HAVE to drive our oldest vehicle (out of necessity), I'm afraid it will konk out on me in traffic. Okay, if you know "The Blaze," you know this is somewhat of a valid fear, so cut me a little slack on this one!

As our oldest son prepares for his first year of high school, I fear the negative influences he will face. And while I'm bearing my soul, I also fear that I haven't prepared him well enough...academically speaking.

I fear that a loved one will be diagnosed with a fatal disease.

I fear speaking in front of people.

I've always feared being called for jury duty and looking foolish as the questions are posed to potential jurors. [Funny how God called me to face this fear just yesterday, and oddly enough, I survived]! :)

I fear failure.

I fear losing those I love, whether through (another) move or death.

While I don't fear the actual milestone of my sons becoming adults and leaving the nest, I fear a potential loss of communication and close relationship.

Need I go on?

Fear. I've long known that I struggle with it in a few small areas. But just recently, with all the changes and transitions we're facing, God has shone a light on my lengthy list of fears. And for the first time, I see...I mean, really see...what a strong grip fear has on my life. I've fed it and tended it much too long.

Even now, looking at the above list, I see some common elements running throughout my fears: pride. control. self-absorption.

Ouch.

I think perhaps this whole revelation began last week as I biked with our two oldest sons. Our oldest son, a high school freshman, led the way and was approaching a stop sign at a somewhat busy road. I called out to him, "Drew! Stop at the stop sign and look both ways before you cross!" Well, duh! Immediately, I was convicted. Because of my fear, I was treating our son as a child, not as the responsible, mature young man that he is.

So as I walked with my husband later that night, I relayed my humbling list of findings and told him what God was showing me. And then I asked him with a sincere heart, "So now what?"

He encouraged me with the fact that I'd already made a big step in identifying the problem. Well, let's just call it what it is: sin.

And then he lovingly (non-condemningly) quoted 1 John 4:18 ~ "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." He continued, "Nik, as you bring all this before the Lord, He's going to replace your fears with faith."

And therein lies my problem. Far too often, rather than giving my concerns and fears over to the Lord, I try to control them. I justify them. I figure that I'm simply being pro-active with my worry. Then when something "bad" happens, I'm prepared for it. What an unhealthy, sinful way of doing life. It steals my joy and leaves me exhausted.

Instead, the Bible says,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I've heard it a thousand times. But it's starting to get into my heart. The above verse doesn't say it's okay to be anxious about some things or really big things or things that concern the ones you love most. It says that we shouldn't be anxious about ANYTHING. Instead, bring EVERY concern, EVERY need, EVERY loved one before Him in prayer, thanking Him that no matter what the circumstance, He is able and sovereign over all.

And this is my favorite part. I once heard it put this way: Jesus makes your heart sit down. And once we're finally seated (rather than pacing, worrying, and fretting), the peace of God stands guard at the door of our hearts. Nothing can get past Him!

And so I'm brought back to the verse my husband so wisely shared with me, "Perfect love casts out fear." It's not in my earthly relationships, comforts, pleasures, or security that I find the remedy for fear. It's only in thrusting my very life, my heart, and all I hold dear upon the One who brings true peace, rest, and joy.