[in the quiet]

For much of my life, I avoided the silence.

When I was little, I remember laying in the darkness with a stuffed animal tucked under my arm, tuned in to Bruce Williams on the radio.  As he discussed 401Ks and Roth IRAs, I contentedly drifted off to sleep.  His voice was soothing and familiar.  It blotted out the silence.  It wasn't long before my bedtime routine included Bob Uecker's entertaining banter as he announced the Brewers games. 

Like most teenagers, I loved music, and my simple little cassette player with the tiny little speaker was most often in play mode.  Eventually, my then-boyfriend (now husband) took pity upon me listening to music on such an embarrassing piece of equipment.  I inherited his boom box and eventually his old cd player.  They were in constant use.

As I became an adult,
I filled my life with constant clamor.
And most of it could be considered "good."
Besides the obvious, always present noise of three energetic boys,
I cranked up worship music while working on my household tasks.
Or tuned in to talk radio.
At bedtime, I reverted to the habit developed in childhood.

Eventually, I sensed God prompting me,
"Nik, what are you running from? 
Why do you fill your life with so much noise that you're unable to hear my still, small voice? 
Turn off the music.  Turn off the radio.
Be still
and listen to Me."

It didn't come easily.
Since childhood, I had developed and fed a habit that would be difficult to break.
But as I began to pray---to resist the urge to go back to the familiar---
I heard my heavenly Father speaking to my heart.
I heard Him.

As I washed dishes in the quiet,
He addressed areas of sin in my life.
He impressed Truth on my heart.
He prompted me to pray for loved ones.
To this day, one of my sweetest times of prayer is over my kitchen sink---my sanctuary.

Lest you think my life is always quiet,
I still crank up the music;
I still get a daily fix of talk radio.
But I'm seeking to be more balanced;
to wisely discern what is good and what is best.
And hearing from the holy God of the universe---
the One who made me, knows everything about me,
and still loves me---
well, it doesn't get better than that.

"Be still, and know that I am God." 

Psalm 46:10