{kids & church}

One Sunday morning, just a few years back :) ~ 2006

On occasion, friends have asked me how to get their kids to love church.  I'm always hesitant to answer, as with three sons (ages 18, 16, and 13) who have grown up loving the church, I'm fully aware that our parenting journey is not yet over.  Any desire in them for the things of God is only by His grace, and it's that same grace and mercy we're dependent upon as we move forward.

Even now, with three teenagers, I've never---not once---had a son balk or fight or resist going to church.  Obviously, church attendance alone is not indicative of one's heart condition before a holy God.  But at the same time, their hunger and desire to be with the people of God, to hear His Word taught, to love and to serve those around them can be a small indication of what's happening inside.  Our sons are by no means perfect---nor are their parents.  So how do we, sinful parents, go about modeling and inspiring our sinful children to love and yearn for the corporate teaching of God's Word?  To be accountable to a body of believers?  To love and treasure their church family?  Here are just a few simple things God impressed on our hearts over the years.  He was faithful to invest these small acts to soften and prepare our sons' hearts.  It's all Him.

1).  Church attendance is non-negotiable.  Our sons never heard us discussing whether or not we felt like going or looking for some excuse not to go.  Obviously, being in full-time ministry in the local church, you could make the argument that we have to be there.  It's my husband's job.  But more than a requirement, it is one of our core values.  Sunday is the most treasured day of the week, and all else falls in line behind it.  This is not some legalistic rule, rather a principle that shows us living what we say we believe.  Afterall, if Christ loves the Church, shouldn't we?  He loved her and gave Himself up for her.  I fully believe that if we begin making concessions---reasons why we don't need to attend this week---when our kids are small, they'll be looking to make greater concessions in greater frequency when they're older.  What are we modeling, mamas?  (Hebrews 10:24-25)

2).  "We get to."  As mentioned, my husband is a pastor.  Our church has multiple services on a Sunday, which means that for more than 15 years (the bulk of our parenting), he's had to arrive at church earlier than the rest of us.  That left me alone to get three little boys ready by myself.  From their youngest days, when I'd go into their rooms to wake them in the morning, I'd lovingly wake them and excitedly declare, "It's Sunday!  We get to go to church today!"  It was never we "have" to go to church today.  Nope.  We get to.  And I believe that the God-given wisdom in that choice of word had a profound impact upon our sons.  It was never a chore.  Never an obligation.  Always a glad, happy privilege.  (Psalm 122:1)

3).  Prepare bodies and hearts.  Like I said, I was flying solo on Sunday mornings, so I desperately needed a proactive approach.  As much as you're able, prepare on Saturday nights.  Take baths.  Lay out clothes.  Search for missing shoes.  And as I've shared before, crank up the worship music.  Once your kids are old enough, let them be responsible for choosing it.  Even if you are still searching for that missing shoe, the truth of God's Word being funneled into your heart will give you perspective, till up the soil, and put your focus where it needs to be.  Oh, and you'll probably find yourself singing worship music all the way to church, too!  Off-key and all, it's a joyful noise!  (Colossians 3:16)

4).  Teach them to listen and engage.  I'm thankful that we have children's programming at church---opportunities for our kids to hear about Jesus' love and holiness at a level they can understand; opportunities to forge lasting friendships.  However, once our boys outgrew the kids' programs and began sitting through the services (particularly the Sunday evening services), we trained them to listen.  "Yes, Son, you can draw, but you must draw pictures of what our pastor is talking about."  One of my greatest treasures is the page of "notes" our son, Ryan, took at one Sunday evening service.  He was such a little guy, yet I was awed and amazed at all that he was able to take in and understand.  (Hebrews 4:12)

5).  Prepare them for what's ahead.  Is there a special conference this weekend?  A visiting missionary?  A special offering?  A baby dedication?  A sick family member?  Talk and pray about all these things.  Make sure your kids know they're a part of this body of believers---give them the courtesy of telling them what makes today "special" in the life of your church family.

6).  Serve.  From the time they're old enough, get your kids plugged in to service.  For our boys, this meant  being a helper in childcare during Sunday evening services.  They learned to give of themselves; to grow in responsibility because someone else was counting on them to show up; to discover their God-given talents for loving and playing and rolling around on the floor with children.  As they got a bit older, one got involved on worship teams; another in tech ministries.  Our church excels in integrating kids into the church at large---not serving only in youth group, but being a part of what is happening in the church on the whole.  Our kids are, afterall, not only the church of tomorrow.  They're the church of today.  (Psalm 100:2)

7).  Love and revere God on every other day in between.  Loving God is not just one day a week.  It's not reserved for a brief few hours on Sunday morning.  Loving Him and holding Him high should be our pursuit seven days a week!  Our kids want---our kids NEED---to see the power of the gospel in you and me!  They don't need perfect parents, but they do need sinful parents transformed by the Holy Spirit; parents who humbly admit when they're wrong; who are increasingly growing in grace and truth.  Fellow mamas, you and I need to love the teaching and exposition of the Word!  Be glad to live and do what it says! Love and serve those in your path (and strategize ways to love those whose lives you might not ordinarily cross)!  Our kids want to see the transforming power of the cross in you and me.  (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)

Oh, that our children might continue to grow in their understanding of Christ's love for His Church!  May they value and treasure it as He does.  And may we be out there ahead of them, gladly leading the way and setting the pace.