{building my house}

Facebook was aflutter in recent days with a blog entry that apparently made a lot of my friends feel better about themselves and their homes.  The blog was posted and reposted, followed with a chorus of hearty amens.  The writer gave us permission to shed the pressure and expectation we place upon ourselves in caring for our homes.

"I have young kids!" she reasoned.

"Friends should be coming to see me, not my house," she argued.

"I'm not out to impress anybody with my homemaking," she declared.

Yes, yes, and yes.  All true.  

When we have young kids, time spent investing in them certainly trumps that long to-do list.  And, oh, I know!  Those little ones (and big ones, too) can undo a task as quickly as we complete it.  

And, of course, at the heart of every friendship should be this deep love, authenticity, and acceptance; a bond that is not swayed or deterred by one's performance or shortcomings.  

And certainly, our ability to clean, organize, cook, and decorate should never be about impressing or showing up the girls coming over for Bible study.  Our motives are severely out of whack if we're trying to impress them with our latest Pinterest projects.  

And yet, friends...isn't home to be the site of our best work and ministry?  Shouldn't we be passionate and intentional when it comes to creating a refuge and safe haven for the people we love best?  I long to create a comfortable, inviting, restful place for the guys under my roof. 

I love Proverbs 31.  Really, I do.  Yeah, I know a lot of us feel intimidated by the woman we meet there.  She seems too good; too perfect.  She makes us look bad.  But I find in her such vision for what can be; such peace and joy and fulfillment in gladly embracing God's design.

All throughout the passage, we see this remarkable woman actively working and preparing for her loved ones.  Verse 13 says she works with willing hands.  After her loved ones are clothed and cared for, she sets about using her energies to feather her nest.  Let's park on this, girls.  It's gonna get a little uncomfortable.  Are you ready?

I believe that sometimes we shy away from this whole homemaking idea, quick to claim that we’re no Martha.  Can I say to you in love that we need to stop making excuses?  

I've been sobered and convicted by this quote:

"A lot of what I thought was my personality was just sin.”  

~ Andree Seu

I think we can apply this in a lot of different ways, but for our purposes today, I'm applying it to our homes.  Sometimes I’m quick to pull the Martha card, but truth be told, it’s an excuse for my own laziness and sin.

"I don’t have to do the laundry (‘cause I’m no Martha)."

"I don’t have to pick up the clutter (or the kids’ toys) before my husband comes home (‘cause I’m no Martha)."

"Those dishes in the sink?  They can wait (‘cause I’m no Martha)."

Ladies, I don't know about you, but for me, my lack of discipline in caring for my home comes down to *me* and my selfish desires.  There have been so many times I've been unwilling to abandon my personal rights in order to invest in my own family and home.  'Cause the truth is, I find time for facebook and blogging and coffee dates---all this while I supposedly don't have time to clean my home and create a refuge for the dear ones living right here.

Friends, we have the glad privilege of creating a haven for the loved ones under our roofs.  We’ve heard Proverbs 14:1 quoted:  “The wisest of women builds her house.”  And we stop there.  But the verse goes on to say that folly with her own hands tears it down.  We’re either building with intention and effort and blood, sweat, and tears, or we’re tearing down with our foolishness, neglect, and devaluing of it.  There’s no middle ground.  

I'm not talking about perfection, ladies.  And I'm certainly not in denial over the messes, piles, and overflowing laundry baskets that so often reside here.  But let's not simply settle.  Let's not blindly jump on to the bandwagon claiming that messes are somehow more real, sincere, and authentic than intentionally planning, working, and building with purpose.  At the heart of my homemaking, I want my guys to see and feel evidence of my love, not just the half-hearted attempts I grudgingly throw their way.  I want to honor, nurture, and prepare for them.  Nowhere in scripture does it give me a pass!  My home is telling a story.  It tells who I am and what I'm all about.  It tells where my heart is.  I want the way I care for our home to reflect the Designer of everything; a God of order and extraordinary creativity.  

"I believe that a godly home is a foretaste of heaven.  Our homes, imperfect as they are, must be a haven from the chaos outside.  They should be a reflection of our eternal home, where troubled souls find peace, weary hearts find rest, hungry bodies find refreshment, lonely pilgrims find communion, and wounded souls find compassion---what Robert Ingersoll called ‘a palace for the soul.’” 

~ Jani Ortlund

For further study:
Proverbs 31
Romans 12:10
1 Corinthians 10:31
Colossians 3:17
Colossians 3:23
1 Timothy 5:14
Titus 2:3-5