breathing it all in

Baby #2 was recently off to his first job interview

I watched him from the front door, striding confidently toward our waiting van.  He smiled awkwardly when he glanced back at the house and realized I was still watching him.

"It's what a mom does, young one."  Breathing in the little and the big, taking snapshots with her heart that she'll tuck away forever.

He drove away, little knowing that he drove away with a piece of my heart.

And over the next year and a half, there will be a million and two more of these moments:  each one welcomed, each one embraced, each one treasured.  Each one uniquely his.  For though we've been down this road before, the so-called "experience" doesn't make my heart any less tender.  The college letters, tours, and talk of future plans are custom-Ryan---a celebration of God's unique design in him.  While I recognize and rejoice in his crazy proficiency for math and science (something he most certainly did NOT get from me) and a possible future in the medical field, I'm most pleased and humbled by what I see behind closed doors:  a boy stretched out upon his bed with his Bible or C.S. Lewis; a heart that desires to know and follow after the One who redeemed him.

Ryan and Luke before the Christmas banquet a few months ago

So, yeah, Ry.  You'll often glance back to see me watching over this next year and half.  I'm not doing it to make you feel awkward.  I'm just breathing in the moments and thanking God for the indescribable privilege of getting to be your mom.

Oh, and in case you were wondering...he got the job.  :)

"My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver
and search for it as hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God."
Proverbs 2:1-5