{18} boy-turned-man

I've learned that the 18th birthday is a bit sobering and heart-squeezing for me,
as I'm painfully aware that it marks each son's last birthday at home.
Oh, perhaps there will be more.
But it's their last "for sure" birthday at home.

And yet, there's this crazy amount of celebration welling up in my heart.
This milestone birthday is big.
My tendency is to go overboard---to make it count, to do it up right.
While each son always gets to request favorite foods for his birthday menu,
this year found me making a list in advance of all of Ryan's favorites,
determined to make them all this week:
baked apple donuts,
cinnamon rolls,
apple dumplings,
pumpkin bars,
chicken noodle soup...
you get the idea.

Preparing for Ryan?  All joy.

For Ryan contentedly and unassumingly lives life.
He's never had a laundry list of wants and expectations.
He simply and gratefully receives each gift as it comes---
as grace.
Man, do I learn through this son of my heart.

We're in his senior year.
I say "we," because that's truly what it is.
A child's final year of high school affects the entire family.
It's milestones, victories, and lasts,
one right after another.
His very last first day of school?
It touched deep.
Perhaps he didn't even think of it.
But I've been tracking with each and every beautiful moment,
breathing it in and feeling it to my very core.

Sometimes in the morning,
as I insist on kissing him on the cheek before he heads out the door,
I can hear his unspoken objections (though he speaks not a word).
Sons in this household have learned to have forbearance toward this often overly sentimental mom.  ;)
But it's more than just a send-off,
for as I watch him head out,
I see the strength and stature of a man.
I respect his heart and loyalty and character.
I marvel at the ways God is growing him and expanding his heart and mind.
This son, this image-bearer of the One who made him.
So much grace.

Adventures loom and abound.
He's already told me he and the guys have this crazy plan to do some kind of extreme-sport adventure next spring.
I'm bracing myself.
And, behind my cupped hand, smiling.
For as the only woman in this houseful of guys,
I've not often understood this whole guy thing.
I've been a slow learner.
But I am learning.
And as I see our differences,
I'm marveling at them as never before.
God created these boys of mine to become men---
men who do hard things.
By His grace, they're becoming initiative-taking providers, protectors, nourishers, cherishers, feeders, leaders, and yes---risk takers.
You know, just the way God intended.  ;)

On his 18th birthday,
I celebrate my little boy grown man.
I rejoice in his unique personality, giftings, and talents.
And I watch with joyful expectancy to see how God will employ all these things to make much of Him.
May his heart be captivated and captured by Him alone.

Happy Birthday, our precious Ry.
You have my heart.  
I love, love, love you,
and couldn't be any more proud of the man you are.  xoxo