I Need Him

I had recently turned 4 years old. I dropped a piece of candy on the floor and was unable to find it. I knew I had to find it, or my baby brother (who was less than a year old) would find it and put it in his mouth and choke on it.

Kneeling beneath the kitchen table, I prayed, "Dear Jesus, please help me find my candy so Adam doesn't find it and choke on it. Amen."

When I opened my eyes, there was the candy, right in front of me!

Quickly bowing my head again, I exclaimed, "Never mind, Jesus, I found it myself!"

Though my theology was lacking (*grin*), it made for quite a funny story. We've laughed about that one a ton over the years.

As I revisited that story in my heart recently, I was struck by a bold new lesson, some 33 years later. While my "self-sufficiency" and "pride" were cute at the time...they're not so cute in a 37-year-old woman. And to be honest with you, my heart's attitude often mimics that of that 4-year-old girl.

I need God's wisdom. I need God's strength. I need His guidance.

But so often, I don't seek it. It's almost like I wave Him off with my hand and say, "Go on up ahead, God. I've got this one covered. I can do it myself."

I go about my day...trying, striving, worrying---neglecting to seek Him; neglecting to delve into His Word, listen to Him, and simply be still before Him.

Or perhaps I do seek Him, but when He provides and shows Himself faithful, I pat myself on the back.

"Look what I did. Look at all I accomplished."

I neglect to thank Him; to testify of what He's done; to bring honor and glory to His name. I somehow deceive myself believe into believing, like little Nikki, I did it myself.

God has used that little girl to illuminate areas of pride and self-sufficiency in my life in recent days. Whether in times of plenty or of want, I can't do life myself. I can't take one breath or make one step without my Father God. He alone is able and sufficient for every need, longing, and circumstance I face.

And I need Him. Oh, how I need Him.

"Apart from me you can do nothing."

John 15:5