R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I'm not advocating punching holes in the wall.
I'm not proud of that day.
But that particular day was a wake-up call and turn-around in our newlywed days of marriage.  Both of us learned hard, crucial lessons which God used to change the course of our marriage.  He convicted us of our sin and selfishness; our "me"-centeredness.  And He shone a bright light on my disrespectful, haughty heart and tongue. He called me back to Scripture.  And as He dealt with my tongue and lack of respect, He began sowing the truth of Ephesians 5:33 deep down in my heart. 

Years ago, the Bible study I was involved in with my girlfriends went through an incredibly practical and life-changing exercise.  We took a look at Ephesians 5:33

"...and let the wife see that she respects her husband."  (ESV)

The Amplified Bible puts it like this:

"And let the wife see that she respects her husband---

that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him,

venerates and esteems him,

and that she defers to him,  and praises him, 

and loves and admires him exceedingly."

And then we set about defining each word.  What an eye-opener:
respect ~ to hold in high regard; to feel or show honor or esteem for
notice ~ to be courteous or responsive
regard ~ to hold in affection and respect
honor ~ to regard highly
prefer ~ to give priority
venerate ~ to look upon with feelings of deep respect
esteem ~ to value highly
defer ~ to give in to the wish or judgment of another
praise ~ to commend the worth of; to express approval or admiration
love ~ deep and tender feeling of affection; devotion to a person
admire ~ to regard with wonder, delight, and pleased approval
exceedingly ~ extremely; to a great degree; extraordinarily

This has served as my personal checklist of sorts for the past 10 years.  Ephesians 5:33 has repeatedly called me out---it's challenged, motivated, inspired, and convicted me.  And it's reminded me of the glad pleasure I have in loving and respecting such a man as Jon.  I still fail.  And so does he.  But surrendering and committing ourselves to God's plan for marriage has brought such rich unity and depth of love and joy.  And though once upon a time I wondered if it was possible...by God's grace, it just keeps getting better and better.