{arrows}

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
5 Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!"
Psalm 127:3-5a

Every Christ-following parent is familiar with the above passage.  
We frame and hang it on the wall of our baby's nursery.
We have bookmarks in our Bibles reminding us.
On the long and hard days of parenting, it becomes our mantra,

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, they are a reward; Children are a heritage from the Lord, they are a reward..."

Over and over again.  

And frankly, that's where it stopped.
At least for me.

I gathered my arrows in my quiver,
holding them close to my heart.
There they were safe and protected.
They were WITH me:
my blessed little collection of arrows.

Shamefully, it wasn't till this summer that a light went on in my head.
The Holy Spirit graciously revealed the folly of my thinking.
And He was good to do so.
He shone a bright light on the part of the verse I'd long ignored:

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth."

Arrows, my friends, serve a purpose.
They're not meant to simply remain in the quiver;
They're meant---they're INTENDED---to be launched.
Released.

Furthermore, this release apparently isn't from some weak, half-hearted, fearful mama.
No, these arrows are aimed at their intended target by a mighty warrior;
a bold, brave, courageous parent whose heart is fully surrendered, committed to, and focused on the bulls-eye; the glory of God.

Standing strong, our outstretched arm holding the bow, we eye our target and firmly pull back the arrow against the string.  
This creates tension, and quite honestly, any parent preparing to launch a child gets this.
As our pastor has often said, the tension is always greatest before the release.  
But this warrior parent knows that these years in the quiver have been invested by God.
These years of careful shaping have revealed successes and failures, strengths and weaknesses.
He's used them to expose gifts and talents and unique wirings in order to advance the gospel.
And now, poised to take aim, we do so with faith and confidence in the One who gave them to us.

My arrows:  a visual reminder I made for myself on one recent evening.
{my three arrows}

As you know, we have three sons.
Over all these years, God has entrusted us with the task of lovingly training and preparing them---not to make much of us; not so that people will tell us what great parents we are.  
All this prep and love and discipline and discipleship has been for one singular purpose:  launching our former "kids" into adulthood, aimed at the target of proclaiming the gospel and making much of Jesus!
As we take aim and release them, one by one, toward the designated bulls-eye, we pray that they will hit their mark and gladly tell the world Jesus is King.  

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" 

3 John 1:4

on the morn he leaves home...

The rest of my house still lays quiet.
The sun is not yet up.
I, myself, had planned to sleep in a bit today.
But God woke me earlier than planned.
And as I lay in the dark on the morn that we take our second-born son to college, my heart flooded with a thousand moments and memories.
My mind went back to when he sucked on his fingers backwards and lived in his cowboy boots, hat, and bandana;
when he was enamored with Toy Story Woody and playing a guitar and animals of every kind.

But then this happened.
Little by little,
one step after another,
he grew up.
In wisdom.
In stature.
And in favor with God and man.

This bold, brave son
with steadiness and loyalty of heart.
He's solid and consistent and rich in character.
And most of all, his heart's desire is to know and love Jesus more and more.

The memories gave way to prayer this early morning.
As the tears slipped down my cheeks,
I found myself just crying out to God in thanks:
thanks for the unspeakable joy and privilege of being Ry's mom.
As I told Jon last night, I can't imagine this house without him.
He brings us so much joy and delight.
But though my heart aches so deeply,
there's excitement in sharing this remarkable young man with the world,
knowing that God goes before Him and hems him in before and behind;
knowing that He's been preparing him to lead and serve and take initiative and do hard things;
knowing that Ryan's amazing life is going to be used to shine a light on the gospel and make much of Jesus.

Ryan, we love you with all our hearts.
God is the strength of our hearts and our portion forever.

Father God, may Ryan "love what is good, be self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.  May he hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it." (from Titus 1:8-9)

{luke is 16}

This son of my heart.
He's 16 today.
Sixteen.
That's a big milestone in the life of any teenager.
And as I've learned, it's also a big milestone in the life of that teenager's mama.
For while every birthday is treasured and precious,
sixteen is different somehow.
It's a becoming;
the knowledge that one's "baby" will soon be driving around with her heart while the rest of her remains home in constant prayer till he returns home safely.
It's the knowledge (at least in our case), that the high school journey is halfway over.
It's willing the next two years to go by as slowly as possible.
The truth is, our baby has older brothers.
I know how quickly it goes.
And that's why even now as tears sting my eyes,
I just keep whispering, "Thank You, God.  Thank you for the absolutely privilege and pleasure of getting to be this guy's mom.  Help me to invest these days wisely."

Luke's life is constantly teaching me, sometimes without a word.
I'm constantly learning from him.

He teaches me to serve without complaint.
He gives and pours himself out in service and love.
Repeatedly.
He's such a good example for his selfish mama.

He teaches me not to take myself too seriously and to laugh...a lot.
He's confident and comfortable and dances like nobody's watching (even when they are).
Oh, I want to be more like him!

While he's incredibly fun,
he also thinks and ponders deeply.
His faith in Jesus is alive and real and his.

Luke brings people together.
All ages, all stages, all backgrounds.
Frankly, I've never seen anything like it.
He's gifted, I tell ya.

He spreads joy and encouragement wherever he goes.
That's how I want to be known.
People are drawn to him because of the way that he loves.
He loves so, so well.

That's just part of why this day is such a celebration.
And really, that's why I ought to celebrate everyday even better than I do.
For the holy Creator of the universe put together this amazing, indescribable package.
And He gave him to me.
For a time.
And my life is so much fuller,
so much sweeter,
so much richer,
so much better.
And so is the world.
For God is using this man-child to reflect Him; to make much of Him in the ways He serves and gives and loves.
And I am forever grateful to have a front-row seat to watching it all unfold.

Happy 16th Birthday, Luke!  We crazy love you!  xoxo

Round 2

We're hurtling toward graduation season at break neck speed.  

And this year, once again, is more than significant,

as we have our very own graduate beneath our roof.

People tell me I'm experienced.

I've been down this road before.

It's true.

This time is I do have experience under my belt.

I have wisdom and age on my side (hah).  

I know what it's like to release.

But my heart's longing over these months is that Ryan knows that, no matter how much "experience" we might have, his leaving us is no less significant or heart-wrenching for his mom.

Sometimes I wish I could be like those parents who are nothing but enthusiastic and excited as their child graduates and leaves the nest.  

"This is what we raise them to do," I'm told.

And that's true. 

But for this mama, the joy of loving, raising, and nurturing each of these young men has been inexpressible. 

Oh, I've done other things.

But nothing has mattered as much.

Getting to be part of what God has done in shaping these young men is the great joy of my life.  

So I gladly anticipate all the ways He will use them to have high impact for Him around this globe. 

But selfishly, I miss their proximity; the playful banter we share; the life, fun, and excitement they bring to our home.  

As I've shared before, I'm still learning that each day is a giving up and surrendering them to the Lord.

As for these next two months, milestones and "lasts" will soon be occurring in rapid-fire succession.  

Of course, it will all culminate with that long-anticipated (at least for me) graduation party!  

Ryan has already been honored and recognized at a banquet where he received a presidential scholarship.  

His diligence and responsibility throughout his senior year have encouraged his dad and me so deeply.

We are excited to see how God will continue to open doors and lead over these final two months of his high school career.  

And even though I'm so-called "experienced," the depth and significance of these days is not lost.  

With a heart overflowing with so much love, I'm smiling through tears and thanking God for the extreme pleasure of being forever changed by a boy named Ryan.  

Happy Birthday, my love!

After all these years, I still marvel at the fact that *I get to* live up close to this remarkable man. I see firsthand the love poured out, the time invested, the relationships nurtured, the sacrifices made, the selflessness displayed. He loves *BIG* and makes each person he interacts with feel seen and known. So incredibly happy to lead the charge in celebrating him today. I'll always be his biggest fan and cheerleader! Happy Birthday with so much love, my love!

This Year

a thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices

Rejoicing in the gift of Jesus this Christmas and always!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!