{you'll find your way}

I received a text from a friend one day last year,
asking if I was home and if she could drop something off.
Curious as to what it might be,
I eagerly awaited her arrival.
A few moments later,
she appeared on my doorstep extending a cd to me.
It was an autographed copy by one of our favorites---
Andrew Peterson.
With a smile on her face, she lovingly urged me to listen to the song, You'll Find Your Way.
"It's your song," she encouraged.

I'm convinced that knowing and tracking with a friend's heart is a learned art; to ask not only what's happening in her life, but to remember...to follow up...to feel it alongside her.
That's what this friend did for me that day.
And in an unexpected way, she was a vessel God used to pour hope and courage into my soul.

So this is for the sons of my heart:
sons growing, spreading their wings, and preparing to fly.
Hold fast, my sons.

Thus says the Lord:

"Stand by the roads, and look,

and ask for the ancient paths,

where the good way is; and walk in it,

and find rest for your souls."

Jeremiah 6:16

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

Hebrews 10:23

{they do}

I mentioned recently that 2013 is---once again---the year of the wedding.
I really can't adequately articulate the joy that floods our souls as my husband and I get to participate in the joining together of lives committed first to God, and then to one another.
In almost all cases, these are the "kids" we got to work with for most of their lives.
Now, seeing them all grown up and desiring to make much of Christ through their marriages, it's our absolute delight to do premarital counseling with them (and for my husband, getting to marry them)!

The most recent wedding took place this weekend.
It was an incredibly sweet, God-honoring, fairy tale day,
and as I watched Jason and Elizabeth worship together and make vows to one another,
the verse that rang in my heart and mind was 3 John 1:4

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

Jason & Elizabeth

Two of our other former "kids" who have been married in the last year or so.  So glad that when these guys married, my life was further enhanced by their beautiful, precious wives.

{thinking about goodbye...again}

I've started this blog entry half a dozen times in the past 36 hours.
Each time I rethink and delete it,
realizing how incredibly selfish it sounds (and is).

It just seems, though, that we've been in a seemingly endless season of goodbyes throughout recent years.
And my heart aches,
as I realize that this isn't likely to change anytime soon.

Now it comes again---
dear friends moving away---
and I'm tempted to throw in the towel;
to give up on friendship and loving and opening up my heart.
For when you love much, you hurt much.

Yet somehow God uses this dissatisfaction,
this all-too-familiar ache,
to lift my gaze to His;
to remind me that we weren't made for this world.

As good as it is to love and to be loved,
as sweet as the stuff of life can be,
sometimes it distracts me from my longing for Him;
for heaven.
I find my joy and satisfaction in what is temporary.
Fleeting.

As Jesus was preparing his friends for "goodbye,"
He spoke to them with these beautiful words of truth and hope:

"Let not your hearts be troubled.  Believe in God; believe also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to myself, that where I am you may be also."  John 14:1-3

Apart, yet united,
separated, yet close---
we await that eternal inheritance.
Together we long and wait for that beautiful home God is preparing just for us---
the place where they'll be no more heartache or illness or tears or goodbyes;
the place where together we'll worship Him forevermore.

Hard farewells, temporary distance, aching hearts, and all,
I'm thankful for precious friends in this life who love, challenge, and inspire me to walk with Jesus.
And I'm thankful that we share the promise of eternity---
that one day, we'll all be Home where we belong.

[surprise!]

Sometimes, I'm simply overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed at my husband's love for me.
Overwhelmed at the way
he sacrifices for me,
gives to me,
lays down his life for me.
He reflects Christ's love in a thousand different ways,
and through him,
I've come to better understand the love my Savior has for me.

They love me so good.

As I've eluded in recent weeks,
this month brought with it a milestone birthday:
40
While there were a few days I was lamenting this coming number,
God had done a work in my heart
and given me joy and perspective.
And as I've said before,
I want to gladly welcome and embrace each year,
knowing it's a gift from Him,
not meant to be despised or squandered.

With that said, my husband had told me to reserve Saturday (the day before my birthday) for him.
I gathered that he had a little something up his sleeve,
but I didn't know what.

Have I mentioned I LOVE surprises?
But despite my husband's best efforts to pull them off in the past, they've always been discovered prematurely.

So needless to say, I suspected nothing when Thursday night brought with it date night.
Life has been hectic and busy lately,
and dinner---just the two of us---sounded exceedingly blissful.

First, he suggested we drive along the lake
(despite the fact it was gray and nightfall was coming).
Then he took me to Starbucks for fall drinks
(despite the fact I was starving and was more than ready to just go eat).
"We're always in such a hurry," he said.
"Let's just take our time and linger."
And so we did.
Heart-connecting conversation and an unhurried pace was just what my heart needed.

But then I was ready to go eat.
As I began walking toward our car,
he grabbed my hand and said,
"Let's go for a walk."
I tried to resist.
"A walk?  It's cold out here!  And I'm hungry!"
"Just a short one," he insisted.
"Let's just take it all in."

And so we walked.
We hadn't gone far when we ran into dear friends.
Initially, I thought it was coincidence.
But as we momentarily stopped to chat with them,
I looked a bit further down the sidewalk and saw more little huddles making their way toward us.

Every few feet,
we were greeted by friends and loved ones.
From all sides they came:
out from the trees, down the hill,
lining the sidewalk.
I'm certain I would have been a heap on the ground had my husband not been holding me up.
Loved one after loved one came,
and I sobbed like a baby.
All week, I've been replaying the scene in my heart and mind.
There simply aren't words for it.
But that wasn't all.

I made my way into the beautifully autumn-adorned shelter---lovingly decorated by precious friends who know and love me so well---and there, before me, was a sight I'll never forget:
faraway friends who had flown in and driven hours to be part of the celebration:
my heart and soul, friend, Clare, with her beautiful girls;
two of our "girls" from our first youth group in Ohio;
and a dear friend from the Chicago area who has been an "older woman" to me for so many years---
all present to help make this the surprise of the century!

Every detail was picture perfect.
One friend giddily said,
"Can you believe it?  It's so you!"
I couldn't agree more--- tables of delicious autumn appetizers and sweets and a gorgeous pumpkin birthday cake with cinnamon frosting.
The warm glow of candles lit each table, and pictures from the distant past and present graced each one.
My husband put together a beautifully moving video of the first 40 years (which included video greetings from friends).
And my Clare assembled a scrapbook of letters from family and friends.
I'm still working my way through it.
Like I said, sometimes I'm just overwhelmed.

It's a week later, and I'm still soaking in and processing all the love in that room.
My husband's heart for me overwhelms me, and he certainly pulled off a surprise like no other.
As I've told many of my friends, my greatest, most treasured gift is being surrounded by all those I love.
I'm awed and humbled that God would give me the absolute joy and pleasure of walking through life with so many amazing people.
My life is much fuller, so much richer because of them, and through them I experience His abundant goodness and grace.

40 is not so very bad.
In fact, I'm quite certain I like it.

Below is a 6-minute video that was taken by our firstborn as the surprise was unfolding outside.  It's near the tail end of our walk (what you don't see is the herd of people---160 of them---behind me and inside).  The first 3/4ths of the video is dark and difficult to see (but our son gives pretty good commentary if you're willing to hang in there), and then the last bit shows the surprise awaiting me inside the shelter.  Enjoy!

[strength]

There are those precious friends in life whom God has called to walk beside us.  They're friends who are faithful through changing seasons and moves and valleys and moutaintops.  They're the ones who know everything about us and love us anyway.  They're the ones who have opened the doors to their hearts and invited us to stay.  They're the ones who, no matter the circumstance or need, will always direct our eyes to Jesus.

One of my favorite friendship verses is 1 Samuel 23:16:  "Jonathan, Saul's son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God."

That's what my friends do for me.  And that's what I long to do for them.  Our friendship is about more than simply having common interests and similar life stories.  It's about our foundation; being rooted and grounded in Jesus.  It's coming alongside and reminding one another of the truths in God's Word.  These sister friends strengthen my hand in God,  and I am forever grateful.

As I was having my quiet time this morning, I discovered 1 Samuel 30:6:  "But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God."

While God is faithful to surround us with friends, there are also times when friends may fail; when we may feel distant or alone or forgotten.  As much as I fight against it, I know there are times I've disappointed my friends.  Additionally, I recognize that I've often sought solace and hope and encouragement from my earthly relationships, rather than from my Father God.  While He's called us into relationship with one another, He also wants us to find our satisfaction and joy in Him alone.  In this verse, we're shown that David strengthened himself in God; no one else was around to lift him up.  He found strength and comfort and joy in his Father God.

Are you feeling alone today?  Isolated?  Disappointed?  Are you feeling that no one is aware of your hurt or understands the depths of your pain?  Strengthen yourself in God, dear one.  Speak His Truth to yourself; rehearse Scripture; remind yourself how He's been gracious to you in the past.  The loneliness and drought of this current season could be exactly what He's using to turn your heart's gaze to Him. 

He alone is our strength. 

Rainy, dreary Mondays in fall...

...call for baking spicy, sweet confections.

Like Autumn Spice Dark Chocolate Brownies.

I'd been swooning over them for the better part of two weeks before finally making them this morning.

So though the rain and wind beat against my window,
it's feeling incredibly cozy inside. 
I'm nursing along my mug of coffee with hazelnut creamer.
My autumn candle is flickering.
The washing machine is whirring away.
Piles of folded laundry are stacked on my couch.
My youngest student is reading his science.
Little by little, I'm working my way through my long Monday "to-do" list and the piles that accumulate on the weekends.
I'm contemplating my guys' return home, seeking to
fill them up before sending them out again.
I'm praying for them,
for friends near and far,
for wisdom and balance and grace.
Oh, how I need it!
I'm counting blessings,
choosing joy,
choosing to trust;
rejoicing in the God who has
revealed Himself to me
and beckons me to know Him.

Rainy days and Mondays.
I think I like them.

The Miracle of Sisterhood

I'd waited for it for years.
But somehow I didn't know I was waiting;
didn't know what I was missing.
Oh, I'd had friends.  Good friends.  Close friends.
But sisters?
It wasn't till my mid-late 20's that these relationships were birthed.
While I look back and see a slow, small start as the seedling friendships began,
somehow I believe we always knew.
In our hearts, we knew it was the start of something deep and beautiful and lasting.
Sisters.

So though I don't have a biological sister or even a daughter, I knew exactly what one of my favorite bloggers and authors, Ann Voskamp, meant when she wrote this recent entry.  It touched me deeply.  For I've lived it.  The Miracle of Sisterhood.  My sisters have taught me exactly what it means to be loved like this...to give like this...to be faithful like this: What It Means To Have the Miracle of a Sister 

We've encouraged one another to love
our husbands and children.
We've learned to trust.
Become vulnerable.
Been honest.
We've kept one another accountable.
Sought godly advice.
Learned to forgive.
We've been the lifeline on the other end of the phone
when one needs perspective.
a laugh.
or simply to know they're not alone.
We've sipped coffee.
Sipped tea.
Done Chinese.  :)
We've watched movies.
Celebrated everything.
Laughed till we've cried.
We've rejoiced when the other sisters rejoiced.
We've wept when they have wept.
We've studied God's Word.
We've held hands in prayer.
We've watched children grow up.
Occupations change.
Sisters move away.

One precious sister moved far away three years ago.
And tomorrow, yet another will go.
My heart aches with a seemingly all-too-familiar ache.
I've been down this road before,
and to be honest with you,
I don't like it.
Yet through the increasingly familiar loss and change,
my heart is strangely peaceful and joyful.
For as Ann put it,
"...when [sisters] grow old and I grow older and there will be goodbyes for now, will they remember? No losses are ever losses when we love; what we love is always with us, becoming part of who we are."

So even when the heart aches and I will not to tear away from that last hug,
there is joy and hope and promise.
For because of our bond in Jesus,
we'll always be connected---
whether in this world or the next. 

It's the Miracle of Sisterhood.
And I am incredibly grateful to live it.

Of Pink and Tea and Chocolate

It doesn't come as a surprise to anyone that I'm a girlie girl.
I've spoken about it often.
It's also not news to anyone that I live in a houseful of guys.
Gentlemanly (sometimes), raucous, never-a-dull-moment, what-will-they-think-of-next? guys.
I love them.  I over-the-top love, love, love them.
Yet...

God, in His goodness and grace, also placed me in close relationship with girls. 
I have dozens upon dozens (hundreds?) of daughters that have come through our youth group.
Girls I meet for coffee...lunch...movie nights; girls I get to disciple and grow with; girls I get to point to Christ.
I also have dear, dear friends with daughters; friends who have graciously shared their daughters with me and brought me into their girlie circle.

So perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised when my dear friend, Nichole, spoke to me months ago and asked me to do a tea for her daughter's 16th birthday. 
But I was. 
I was awed and humbled and grateful. 
I was reminded that God sees me...sees my heart...sees my desires. 
And He used my dear friend to selflessly share, not only her daughter, but a milestone event in the lives of both of them.


Cake Pops, Rich Chocolate Trifles, & Sugar Cookies

Chicken Salad Tea Sandwiches, Ham & Apricot Pinwheels, Chocolate Chip Scones, Banana Muffins with Cream Cheese Frosting, Fruit Skewers

Far left corner of the table: Chilled Strawberry Soup

 



Beautiful Mom and Daughter

 

The lovely guest of honor

 

I've had the joy of watching her grow up since she was 3. 

 

My precious friend, Nichole ~
Thank you for sharing your heart, your life, and even your daughter with me. 
It was a day I will treasure always, just as I treasure you.

The Time of Singing (and Memory-Making) Has Come ~ Day 12

It's March 22---two days into Spring.
And today we've seen snow, rain, sleet, and hail.  Repeat.

It was the perfect day to visit one of my favorite little boutiques with my treasured friends.
To escape.  dream.  create.
To share an experience and make memories to carry us through the long months (and sometimes years) of separation. 
Scents seem to take me back to specific events and memories.  I created a lilac and peony-scented body lotion (my favorite)...a scent that will forevermore conjur up memories of this day. 
So despite the Narnia-like scene that was just on the other side of the store window, inside there was the joy and promise of spring; the joy and promise of faithful friendship. 

Span-the-Miles Autumn Bliss ~ Day 20

Candy Corn.
I don't even really care for the stuff.
But I must have it around this time of year,
simply because it brings faraway loved ones
(who happen to love it) a little bit closer.
And each time I spy my candy dish
or see the mason jar on my shelf,
I smile.
That's how it is with some autumn bliss.
It's just nostalgic.
You love it because of the people and
the memories associated with it.
And that's one of the best reasons of all.

welcome back

Without doubt, the one good thing about being separated 3,500 miles from precious friends is the joy of whispering those treasured words, "welcome back." And after 2 long years apart, I finally got to utter those seemingly elusive words as my friend and her family visited over the past few weeks.

It's funny, when you have only a short time together, you make memories of the ordinary and the extraordinary. It doesn't matter where you are or what you do---you tuck it all away in your heart for safe-keeping. And when the time inevitably comes when you must painfully say, "see you later"---and the miles again stretch long and far between you---you pull those memories out and re-visit them. And you thank God, over and over again, for the joy and privilege of loving, being loved by, and growing with such a friend.

In Other News...

This is sort of a continuation of my last entry, simply recapping these past few "silent weeks."

*We rejoiced when our son, Ryan, got his cast off after only 5 weeks (we'd been told to anticipate a potential 8). While attending camp, he didn't let his cast slow him down at all (much to his mom's chagrin). I'd hear (after the fact, mind you) that he'd played "Capture the Flag." I'd watch him jump around on his cast while doing the actions to different worship songs. After returning home, he played a rousing game of "Ultimate Frisbee." Yes, he was ready for it to come off. :) We're thankful for his swift healing and the amazing attitude he displayed when his summer plans changed.

* Our boys' baseball seasons are ending this week. Last night was the final game for Ryan and Jon's team (Jon is the coach), and tonight Luke's team plays for the championship for the second consecutive year. Update to follow...

* Our oldest son, Drew, began driver's ed yesterday, and I'm preparing for the fact that he may get his temps this week (perhaps today, even). If you're a mom of a teenager, you know that a lot goes into this "prep-work" for a mom. So I'm praying a lot and taking advantage of opportunities to bequeath him with my "driving wisdom." Hah! Oh, this growing up stuff is hard!

*Back in January, I finally found an old college friend of mine on facebook. I'd searched for her several times, but was never able to find her until that cold January day. Needless to say, we've been in contact since then, catching up on all that we'd missed in each other's lives over these past 19 years since we'd last seen each other. Though she and her family live out of state, it turned out that they were going to be visiting only an hour away from where we live. We jumped at the opportunity to see them! So last Friday evening, after 19 years apart, we reconnected! And what joy it was! I was actually "the third wheel" on her first date with her husband, so it was awesome to see both of them and their beautiful girls; to hear how God is using their gifts and talents to further the kingdom. Admittedly, these years have not been so kind to our memories. One of us would say, "Remember when..." to which the other would say, "Huh?" Thankfully I'd brought a photo album and our yearbook along which filled in a lot of the gaps which our aging minds seemed to create. I'm so very thankful for this unexpected, incredibly sweet blessing!

Heroes In Pink

"Brothers, join in imitating me, and

keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us."

Philippians 3:17

My husband taught from this passage yesterday, posing the question: Who are your heroes?

Oh, the world looks at celebrity...money....glamour. We tend to look at the ones in the spotlight who seem to receive all the accolades and recognition. But who do we emulate?

It's clear from this verse in Philippians 3 that God wants us to live in community with one another and make careful note of those who are following hard on His heels. We're to observe the way they keep their eyes on Jesus, because that spurs us on to do the same. I looked up this same verse in "The Message."

"Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal."

I'm thankful. I have a lot of heroes in my life. My husband...our boys...parents...friends.

But today I'm going to focus on just two. Two bold, strong, and courageous friends.

Dorinda was diagnosed with cancer last fall. It came as a shock to all of us. Dorinda is one of those people who lights up a room when she enters it. She seems to have this glow about her. She always looks beautiful and put-together. But more importantly, this dear friend has been a continual source of encouragement to me over the past 12 years. She and I both have a heart for marriage, and we've sat beside each other on various panels at church, fielding questions and learning together. As an "older" woman with grown children, she's often given me needed perspective and balance. As one who was rather transient and moved far away from her dearest friends, she gave me understanding and a listening ear as my heart & soul friend moved far away. Following our Sweetheart Banquets, she and her husband have always been the ones to stay till the bitter end, assisting in clean-up, wiping down tables, folding tablecloths. No one asked them to do this. They just want to serve. That's Dorinda. And now she's in this fight against a disease I've grown to hate so much. And even now, there's a smile...a contentedness...a joy in her countenance. Throughout these months, even when she hasn't felt good, she still has this positive, upbeat attitude. I know it's Jesus in her. Sometimes when I've spoken to her, my goal is to encourage her in the Lord. Without fail, she is the one spurring me on and reminding me of the Truth of His Word. She leads by example. She's my hero.

I met Fran several years ago on the homeschool message board I frequent. And then came the day when she heard that dreaded 6-letter word: cancer. Breast cancer, to be exact. This beautiful, vibrant young mommy received the diagnosis that we all fear. And so began her journey. It was at this time that God really connected us. I watched her fight with such strength and dignity and grace. I watched as her trust in her Father God seemed only to grow and flourish, rather than dwindling. I watched as God used her life and her testimony to turn all eyes to her Jesus, the One who was faithfully providing for her and meeting her needs. After many months of surgery and treatment, Fran received the news we were all praying for: she was in remission! But now, nearly 5 years since her diagnosis (and with two new little girls for a total of 3), she's received confirmation that her cancer has returned. Again, she's setting the pace. It doesn't mean she's not hurting. It doesn't mean she's not sad. But when the rest of us are grieving and hurting, she's the one to remind us: "He's going to heal me on way or another. Here on earth or with Him in heaven. I will come out the winner." So even when my heart is breaking for my friend, she continually reminds me that God still reigns in the deepest valley. She's my hero.

I thank God for these friends, these genuine heroes. Their example...their faith...their trust remind me that, no matter what, we can rest confidently and securely in our Father's love. All our hope is in Him.

Please join me in praying for these two remarkable ladies...

Update: Fran went to be with Jesus on June 16, 2010. Finally Home.

Look...Remember...Do

It was a couple of months ago when a friend of mine shared a passage of Scripture which had jumped off the page and spoken to her. She was excited to share the truth of it with us, her friends. Don't you just love that? Having friends with whom you can share what God is teaching you? Friends with whom you can share your struggles and your failures? Friends with whom you can share how God is changing you and molding you? Friends whom you can ask to pray, knowing that they will?

So it was with eagerness that my friend shared these words from Numbers 15. I'll admit that, while I know I've read them before, they jumped off the page and ministered to me a whole new way that day. It was like I was reading them with fresh eyes.

The Lord said to Moses,

"Speak to the people of Israel, and ask them to make tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, and to put a cord of blue on the tassel of each corner. And it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the Lord, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you are inclined to whore after. So you shall remember to do all my commandments, and be holy to your God. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt to be your God;

I am the Lord your God."

Numbers 15:37-41

We each shared an area in which we find it difficult to obey. While there are many, I believe the key area in which God has been working in my life is in regard to trusting Him. So frequently, I try to run ahead of God and "help" things along. I fear and doubt and question His plan. Oh, I know He's calling me to trust...to obey...to rest in Him. But so many times, I'm trusting me and my own abilities. I'm leaning on my own strength and my own understanding. I follow after my own heart and what I can see. Specifically in recent months, as we've been praying and making decisions regarding our oldest son's high school career, I've been fearful and doubtful. But God is saying, "No, Nikki. Just trust Me. I am working for your good and My glory. I love your family even more than you do. You can entrust them to My loving care. You can trust Me."

My friend suggested that we each get a blue bracelet to wear upon our wrists; a reminder of God's admonishment in this passage of Scripture. Being a visual person, I immediately jumped on board with the idea. As I wear my bracelet throughout the day, I feel it. I see it. And each time I do, it's a little nudge, a little reminder from a loving heavenly Father. It's a timely visual to trust in the unfailing faithfulness of a God who loves me so very much.

The Unexpected

It's no secret that I love surprises! I know many people do not, but to me, surprises mean unexpected blessing and joy!

My husband would be the first to admit that he is rarely able to surprise me in the true sense of the word, because unlike me, he gets so excited about it he simply has to tell! Oh, how I love his heart! Even if he is able to remain tight-lipped about a pending plan, I happen upon the evidence prematurely. I'm not nosey...really. :) I like to think it's my uncanny sleuthing abilities that come out whether I want them to or not.

My heart skips a beat when I spy unexpected notes and packages in our mailbox. I've lost count of the number of times I've been brought to tears as I retrieve the mail. Unexpected encouragement and reminders of friendship when I least expect them have a way of strengthening and bolstering my heart.

I love surprises. :)

So it was with great joy that I received an unexpected email...an unexpected surprise...a couple months ago. It was from a friend of mine in Ohio...a friend I'd not seen in almost 12 years! Though the particular email said much more, the key words that jumped out at me included * visit * April * excited. *

I was delighted! After all these years, when I least expected it, God once again said, "Surprise! Just see how I'm going to bless you now!" Isn't that just like Him? I love the way that He, as a loving Father, blesses and heaps unexpected blessings on His children; the way that He affirms and pours courage into our hearts.

So while this weekend had been in the planning for a couple months, it was a sweet blessing I certainly hadn't anticipated. I'm so thankful for the pleasure of sharing and reconnecting with a beautiful friend.

Thank You, Father, for Your loving, timely, customized surprises!

A Full Heart

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Reunited

Those who regularly read my blog know that I've frequently mentioned the pain of yet another difficult goodbye. Working with youth as we do, each year we watch our graduates fly from the nest, and we experience that all-too-familiar heartache.

This year, in particular, seems filled with more goodbyes than usual...not only to our kids, but to several families of friends, as well. You may even remember my post of January (and following), right after we'd received confirmation that our precious friends were moving 3,500 miles away. That was a whole 'nother kind of pain, unlike any I'd ever known.

Through the hard goodbyes and tears, though, God has faithfully reminded me that we weren't made for this world. He has positioned us...spread across His globe, as we may be...to glorify Him and make His name known.

As many of our college kids returned home this summer, it felt (in many ways) like our family was once again complete. As we huddled together with those who had returned and those graduates who were preparing to leave this fall, one of "my girls" reminded me, "We always come back."

And that's another lesson I've learned this year; one that I wouldn't have learned were it not for the pain that precedes it. There is such a sweetness in those simple words, "Welcome back." There have been times when those two little words seemed like such a far-off dream...such an impossibility. As I hugged my heart friend for that final time back in March, the days and months until our reunion stretched before us like a seemingly endless race. But even as I write, I'm waiting patiently (or not-so-patiently) for her long-awaited visit. It's been just 4 months since we parted, but God has graciously provided this sweet opportunity to embrace one another with those glorious words, "Welcome back."

Oh, I know that after the 'hellos' come the 'goodbyes.' And in two short weeks when my friend returns home, I'll likely need to be re-reading this entry and reminding myself of the truth of God's Word. But I can say with absolute certainty that whether I'm saying "hello" or "goodbye," God is using both to stir in me a deep longing for that sweet, sweet someday when we'll see Him face to face and there will be no more tears or death or pain or goodbyes.

And I remind myself: Life is short. Eternity is long.

Treasure In My Attic

Emilie Barnes writes in her book, Friends of the Heart, that "finding a friend is like discovering treasure. Finding a friend in someone you already love---that's like finding a treasure in the rafters of your very own attic."

I've discoverd this to be true as my relationship with my mom has grown and flourished throughout adulthood. Oh, we were close before, though our relationship was often plagued by a tongue (mine) that lacked control and respect. There was also that familiar fight for independence and a mom's understandable desire to cling to her firstborn. Through it all...the hasty words, hurt feelings, and painful process of letting go...God created something beautiful. Throughout adulthood, our relationship has undergone an amazing transformation. We've probably both grown up a lot, we've offered (and received) forgiveness, and we've discovered the joy of simply being with one another.

I've found in my mom a true friend. We can laugh and openly share our hearts. We can talk about spiritual things and hurts and prayer needs. At the same time, there's a line we do not cross. I'd always been taught never to complain about one's husband to your mother...and I don't. And neither does she. It's a beautiful balance of give and take...one I do not take for granted.

It's because of the bond we share that I look forward to celebrating her on her birthday. Today was the much-anticipated day, and we enjoyed our "girlie" lunch at an incredible restaurant. She ordered Vegetable Quiche, and I ordered a Vegetable Quesadilla...then we split them in half and shared. Oh, my goodness...sooo good!

Following lunch, we walked to a quaint little boutique where guests are able to create and customize their own personal bath products. We each chose to do a sugar scrub...I'm a sugar scrub junkie! It was fun to choose the herbs, oils, and fragrances for our one-of-a-kind creations.

My husband had told me earlier in the week that he and the boys would like to be in on the celebration, too. He suggested that we come back to our house after lunch so that we could enjoy dessert together. It made my heart soar to hear him make this suggestion, so grateful for the special bond that my mom and my guys share, as well.

Mom, I want to publicly express how very blessed I feel that you're not only my mom, but also my friend. I always look forward to being with you, and I thank God for all the ways He's used you to shape, mold, and enhance my life.

We all love you so much ~ Happy, Happy Birthday!

Kindred Hearts

We're just days away from saying goodbye to my best friend and her family as they move 3,500 miles away. Her husband is already en route, and our days together are winding down. Obviously, the emotions and heart needs of these days are many and varied. We're simply trying to embrace the miracle of each moment we share together.

She celebrated a birthday recently, but since they were out of town at the time, we weren't able to celebrate it together. I'd recently mentioned to my husband that I would like to take my dear friend out for her birthday lunch soon. His response? "Let me handle the details. I've got it covered."

Now, my husband had never taken responsibility for planning a girls' outing before, and I giggled thinking of the possibilities. And I admit that occasionally I'd check in with him and say, "You sure you want to do this? Do you need my help?" And with a knowing smile, he assured me that we were in good hands. I did, however, bust a gut when he came home one day and reported, "Did you know that such-and-such Tea Room is now a Cement Company?"

Today was the much-anticipated day, and he began letting me in on his secret this morning. As I waited with expectancy to hear what this day would hold, he told me that he was not the only one responsible for this special day. Tears welled in my eyes as he told me that the beautiful day that I was about to spend with my friend was courtesy of another friend; a friend that I've had the pleasure of being with in person only once in my life. We've known each other for 8 years...via the homeschool message board I frequent. She has prayed for me, encouraged me, and supported me countless times throughout the years. She has become a dear and precious friend, despite the many miles that separate us.

Needless to say, she's known about my soul friend's pending move. She's been praying for both of us as we prepare for our "see you later's." And from across the miles, she involved my husband in orchestrating an unforgettable luncheon for my friend and I to share. I'm overwhelmed at the love she poured out on us.

As we arrived at the Tea Room, we found the staff waiting for us and welcoming us by name. "We've been expecting you," they seemed to say. They made us feel so warm and welcome. My husband later told me he'd filled them in on our story. They knew why we were there and the significance of this day for us.


Natural sunlight flooded the tea room as we were shown to our table...a private, quiet setting apart from the rest. The table was beautifully set, and our server explained that the fresh flowers were ours to take with us. The matching teacups at our places, also, were for us to keep. My husband, working with my friend, had arranged everything perfectly.



We dined on quiche, spinach salad, fresh pineapple, and homemade bread. And we sipped the most delicious tea I've ever had the pleasure of enjoying. My choice? Ginger Peach. We even threw caution to the wind and enjoyed the most amazing Rum Fairy Cakes. Hers...Lemon Mango. Mine...Chelsea Chai.

Tied up in yellow ribbon were two sets of letters...one for my friend, one for me. As we read the heartfelt letters from both my husband and the friend who had planned this special day for us, we were overwhelmed at God's goodness in showing us His love through so many dear people. Our attention was directed to the yellow "friendship" roses which graced our table...reminders of the close-knit bond God has given us.

Oh, how I'll always treasure this day in my heart and mind. The luncheon was laced with quiet remembrances of laughter and tears. It was a beautiful celebration of the love God has lavished on us; the love that we in turn are able to share with one another.

Our hearts are filled to overflowing...

Joy is...

...friends who just show up;

surprise me;

know my needs.

Joy is cooking and preparing for the second Sweetheart Banquet on a cold Saturday morning when out of nowhere, these three beautiful friends show up with picnic basket in hand.

They knew where to find me.

What matters to me matters to them.

They gave of their time and their very lives.

Joy is spreading our picnic out on the stage; enjoying one another and being filled...

physically...

emotionally...

spiritually.

Thank You, Father, for these sisters of my heart. Thank You that neither time nor distance can erase the memories we share.