He is Faithful...2008 Reflections

How am I different than I was December 31, 2007?

How has God changed me? Grown me? What has He done in my heart?

These are the questions swirling around my head throughout recent days. And as I think back over the past 12 months, I'm mindful as never before of the people He used to stretch, encourage, and bolster my faith.

2008 began with the knowledge that God was opening unexpected doors for my heart & soul friend and her family to serve in a church 3,500 miles away. And with that knowledge came the eventual, undeniable truth that these were indeed the people...the home...that God had prepared just for them.

Though this life-changing event wasn't happening directly to me, it was a key component that God used to shape and mold me this year. Though I wrestled with God and tearfully bombarded him with countless questions, I watched in awe as I obvserved the quiet strength and grace of my friend; her surrender to our Father God and willingness to obey Him, even when it was hard. Though her heart held many of the same questions mine did, she quietly yet boldly embraced God's plan. Words can't begin to express how God's work in and through her motivated and challenged me. While I don't think being apart will ever become easy (all these months later, it's perhaps harder than ever), God has used these months to teach both of us that He is faithful. He is sufficient and able for every need and longing we face. And even when we are apart from those we love, He is Emmanuel...God with us. Always.

As my friend was preparing for her long-distance move, I learned that another friend and her husband had received the news that their unborn baby had been diagnosed with a condition that would prevent him from life outside the womb. My friend carried him, safe and protected, for 9 months until his scheduled delivery day. Once again, the questions and doubts were many; the pain, excruciating. But as little Owen passed from the safety of his mommy's womb to Jesus' all-encompassing arms, God gave our friends a peace, an assuredness that He is who He says He is. He gave them a confidence that He would use their precious baby's life to impact many with the gospel. And that He has. My life is different today because little Owen lived. It's through him that I've witnessed the peace that God gives. I've seen God faithfully sustain and carry his parents and his brothers. I've seen the ways that God uses painful, unplanned, undesired circumstances to bring growth and draw us close to His heart.

As I consider how God worked within my heart this year, I can't help but think of two families that I've not even met (well, unless you consider an autograph from one of them many years ago). Both of these families walked unimaginable roads as they lost a child this year. I am, of course, referring to the Steven Curtis Chapman family, as well as Todd (of Selah) and Angie Smith. Through their deep pain, God has provided them with opportunties to publicly testify to His faithfulness. Angie's blog, in particular, has deeply ministered to my heart. They've honestly expressed their questions and grief, all the while pointing to our Father God as their hope, their comfort, and their peace. Many times over the months, I've wondered how I would react and respond in a similar situation. But once again, God has used these dear families to remind me that He is good; He can be trusted. And He is faithful.

This afternoon, while working in the kitchen, I was listening to the Selah cd that my heart & soul friend gave me a couple of years ago. I often listen to it, as it makes her feel just a little bit closer. :) Anyhow, with all these thoughts swirling around in my head, my heart skipped a beat as "Faithful One" began playing. As I stopped what I was doing and listened to the words, tears filled my eyes. It's because this song epitomizes what God has taught me this year. Through the mountaintop experiences and through the valleys, our God is faithful. When it hurts so much and it feels we can't go on, He is faithful. When circumstances threaten my sense of security, He is my sure thing. When we feel alone, forgotten, or disappointed, He is faithful.

And so I close out 2008, weeping for joy at God's faithfulness to me. I pray that your heart, likewise, soars with the undeniable truth that He loves you with an everlasting love and will be faithful to you to the end.

Happy New Year, friends.

I find no hope within to call my own
For I am frail of heart, my strength is gone
But deep within my soul is rising up a song
Here in the comfort of the faithful one

I walk a narrow road through valleys deep
In search of higher ground, on mountains steep
And though with feet unsure, I still keep pressing on.
For I am guided by the faithful one.

Faithful, faithful to the end,
My true and precious friend,
You have been faithful,
Faithful, so faithful to me

I see your wounded hands, I touch your side
With thorns upon your brow you bled and died
But there’s an empty tomb, a love for all who come
And give their hearts to you, the faithful one.

Faithful, faithful to the end,
My true and precious friend,
You have been faithful,
Faithful, so faithful to me

And when the day is dawned and when the race is run
I will bow down before God’s only Son
And I will lift my hands in praise for all you’ve done
And I will worship you, my faithful one