To Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn...

Nine years ago now I was eagerly, nervously, and expectantly preparing for my first year of homeschooling. I had fears and doubts, questions and uncertainties. Yet my husband and I were also confident that this was what God was leading us to do. Yes, there would be challenges. Yes, there would be gaps. Yes, there would be things I'd need to learn right along with our boys. But at that time (and many times since then), I took courage in this verse:

"He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it."

1 Thessalonians 5:24

As we launched into homeschooling, our hope and desire was to give our sons a firm foundation. We wanted them to become well-grounded in their faith. We wanted them to find their identity in being loved by God and their family. Now, I know many wonderful parents who have chosen other schooling options and share those same desires. Their hearts and longings for their children are no different ~ we've simply been led through different means.

Our desire 9 years ago...and each year since then...has been that by the time our sons reached high school age, they'd be well-prepared to enter a public high school. Now, there's nothing automatic about readiness in 9th grade. We've clearly recognized that one son may be ready in 9th grade...another in 10th...or perhaps another not at all. We're prayerfully considering each son's unique make-up, personality, and leanings. What works for one may not work for another.

But with that said, our desire has been that with a firm foundation, our sons will be ready, while living in our home, to enter high school and make a difference for Christ; that they'll be able to lead; to stand firmly in their faith and live it out in such a way that they impact those around them with His love. That's not to say they'll be perfect. That's not to say they won't struggle. It's simply saying that through the challenges, growing pains, and tough lessons, we want to walk beside them and help them navigate the rough waters while still living in our home.

Nine years ago, that "someday" seemed so far off. High school? It was eons away.

But here it is.

And as we re-evaluated, prayed, and asked ourselves questions, we came to the undeniable, joyful, frightening conclusion.

He's ready.

Are we?

For this mama's heart, the pain is often unbearable. The stretching of my heart is so intense. And the stretching of my faith is, perhaps, unlike any other time in my life.

And it's good. Because as much as I'd love to remain the one who provides for and meets all my son's needs, he and I are both learning that there is only one who will not fail him; one who can be trusted. As much as I'd like to shield him from hurt and temptation and rejection, we're both learning that the Lord is his shield---the lifter of his head. As much as I'd like to cling to him, stop time, and keep things "un-changed," I'm learning that the love, mercy, and grace of our heavenly Father is unchanging. As one who's not big on change, I take delight in that knowledge! And I'm being reminded that my son and I both have a purpose: to proclaim the excellencies of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). I believe with all my heart that God is going to use our son to impact his world for Christ!

So while the tears are never far away these days, I'm learning to trust. And as I've prayed for years, I continue to pray that God captures and captivates the hearts of each of our sons; that He places in them such a hunger to know Him; that He plants in them a heart fully committed to Him and His purposes. And I pray that He'll give them courage and wisdom as they boldly testify to His work in their lives with a world who desperately needs Him.