Whom Have I In Heaven But You?

Nineteen years ago today, my parents, boyfriend (now husband), and I made the familiar trip that parents all over the world both anticipate and dread. With feelings of joy, expectancy, nervousness, and fear, we made the 2 1/2 hour drive to the college of my choice. I was a college freshman. I was leaving home. And amidst the excitement, something inside had begun to hurt.

I remember that my mom never removed her sunglasses that day...even inside my dorm room. She thought she was hiding something from me. But I knew. I knew how hard it was for her to leave her firstborn. I knew the conflict warring within her. Or at least I thought I did.

Before my parents left me that day, they presented me with two individual letters---one from each of them. They instructed me not to read them until they were gone. And that afternoon, alone in my dorm room and truly FEELING alone for the very first time, I read my parents' heartfelt words of love and blessing.

Within my dad's letter was a small gold coin. It had a winter scene on each side of it. The P.S. of his letter simply said, "I want this coin back on your wedding day." The implication was clear. I understood. This was a covenant of sorts between my dad and me. He was saying to me that he'd loved me, trained me, and disciplined me. He'd guided me, counseled me, and prayed for me. And now he was trusting that the training he and my mom had given me would flourish; that I'd embrace my faith as my own. He was admonishing me to live a life of purity as I humbly walked with my Creator God.

That night, my Father God ministered peace to my heart as He led me to the verses that I claimed as my theme verses:

"Whom have I in heaven but You?

And there is nothing on earth

I desire besides You.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my

heart and my portion

forever."

Psalm 73:25-26

What strength. What peace. What security.

Fast forward to my wedding day. It arrived bright and beautiful. Outside the church, sunshine glistened off fresh-fallen snow. Holding on to the arm of my dad, we made quite a speedy procession down the aisle to my groom. And standing before him and the pastor, my dad was asked the question he'd been preparing for since my birth.

"Who gives this woman in Christian marriage?"

"Her mother and I do."

As I kissed my dad's cheek, I slipped the gold coin into his hand. He had forgotten. But I had not. And through that simple gesture on our wedding day, I reminded my dad that God had answered his prayers. That's not to say I was (or am) perfect. But God had placed in me a growing desire to know Him, love Him, and follow after Him. I was committed to walking with my Savior through both the mountaintops and the valleys.

A couple of years ago, my mom and I sat at their kitchen table with my dad's "treasure" box before us. We were weeding through old jewelry and other mementos from the past. He's pretty much saved it all. Among his treasures was the gold coin that had come to symbolize so much between us. And after a brief consultation, my mom and dad agreed that my husband and I should take it home...that we might want to give it to our sons one day.

And now, with our firstborn about to go off to high school for the first time, I'm experiencing some of those same feelings of joy, expectancy, nervousness, and fear. And while he'll return home to us each night, I'm better understanding...at least a little bit...how my mom felt that day she rode away my college dorm, entrusting me fully to the care of a loving heavenly Father.

As our firstborn prepares to begin his freshman year of high school in just over a week, I plan to present him with the same gold coin my dad gave me all those years ago. The coin itself doesn't mean much. It holds no value or spiritual signficance. But it's a visual picture of so much more. And as my dad reminded me, I'll remind our son. Earthly relationships may disappoint, financial security may dwindle, physical health and comfort may fade. But the relationship we have with Jesus satisifes, fulfills, completes, and makes us whole. And I'll share with him the verses God showed me all those years ago; the truths He's shown me are true: In Him, we truly have everything we need.

He is enough, my son. For you...and for me.