Lessons Learned In Recovery

I'm just a few days post-op, and before I go any further, I want to thank all for your outpouring of love, encouragement, and prayers. Some of you I know in real life, while others I know only on the web. But regardless, I've been moved and humbled by the countless ways you've reached out and loved on me and my family.

Recovery is going well. I'm feeling good, though more wiped out than I'd anticipated. I think I seriously thought I was going to be the one exception to the rule: I'd come bounding out of surgery, ready to conquer the world. Whatever. It's been slow going, but I am so encouraged...so blessed...so thankful. Almost immediately, I've experienced relief from the pain that has been my constant companion for so many years. God has been so good...so gracious...so full of mercy.

As I continue to heal, though, it's been tough. I'm in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable position: that of receiving. I'm much more at home and comfortable on the other side of things. It's known. familiar. joyful. It fits. And now being in a place of gratefully accepting help and assistance from others is simply put, hard. Oh, I know it's my pride speaking. It's my pride that wants to be self-sufficient and capable. Somehow, the attitude of the 4-year-old Nikki of yesterday still creeps up in my life from time to time today: "I can do it myself!"

But as every wise and sane person in my life has reminded me, I can't do it myself. And my surgery and recovery have been a bold, beautiful, glorious reminder of that. We need each other. God has strategically placed us within a community of friends and loved ones. As much as I love to be the one to come alongside others in need, I've needed to humbly accept that...*ouchy, here it comes*...it's a privilege for others to come alongside me, too. It's a pleasure for them to serve and love and give and pour themselves out. Rather than fighting and resisting and insisting upon my own abilities, my current situation has put me in a place of gladness and joy. I've slowly been learning to graciously, humbly accept help and service. And, oh, that was a severely needed lesson. Even this moment as my husband washes the front window...and one son empties the dishwasher...and another vacuums upstairs...and we look forward to the meal that will be brought in for us tonight...I am grateful.

I need them.
And they need me, too.
And that's why it's so beautiful.