Here We Go

Each day for the past few days, our mailbox has been crammed full with mail. 
What is it, you ask?  Cards?  Bills?  Catalogs?
Nuh-uh. 
College letters.
They've been arriving in multiples everyday for the past week.
In the back of my mind, this is the season I've been dreading and anticipating (and dreading some more) for 17 years. 
Yes, our oldest son is "only" a sophomore.  Yes, I know that in reality, we still have time.  It's not like he's graduating tomorrow or anything.  But it's all beginning---seemingly slowly, at first, but I know it only picks up speed. 

Since working with teenagers for nearly 20 years, I thought that in some strange way, I'd be prepared for this season.  I thought that, since watching so many friends walk through this stage with their own teenagers, I'd have some unique advantage.  I'd know how to walk through these days with grace and confidence.  I'd know how to let go.  But the truth is, it's so stinkin' hard.  It's an ever-present struggle for me.  I am, afterall, the one who gets all sentimental and sappy over a broken washer and oven. 

As the days quicken and we look ahead to that inevitable "launching" of our sons, there are two "musts" that have been strongly on my heart:

I must rehearse truth to myself.  As my sons continue to grow (and drive and leave and do more things apart from my watchful eye), I must remind myself of the Truth of God's Word.  As one who is prone to fear and worry, I must tell myself what to believe, based on Scripture:  "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?  Though an enemy encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident."  Psalm 27:1,3  Karen Loritts put it this way, "I put fear on notice that it could not make me its slave."  Yes, there are a lot of unknowns in the coming days and years.  But I will not be bound or paralyzed by fear or "what-ifs."  My God loves me.  He loves my family.  And through all of the unknowns, I have grace-filled opportunities to learn to trust; to confidently entrust those I love more than life itself into the all-wise, loving hands of their Creator who is always working for their good and His glory.  He's working for my good, too.  And if He's got me...and them...in His grip, what have I to fear?

I must invest each day.  “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”  Ephesians 5:5-16  It's no accident I'm reading Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts" right now.  The message is regularly ringing in my ears:  Live fully.  Embrace each moment.  Don't waste the days.  Don't squander them.  Be intentional. purposeful. wise.  thankful.  I long for the ordinary, seemingly mundane stuff of my life to ooze with grace. thanksgiving. joy. And while I am and will be an imperfect wife and mom, I want to embrace God's grace and forgiveness at every turn.  I want to say with glad certainty, "I have no regrets."

God has given me my sons for a time...a brief time, at that.  They belong to Him, but He's given us the glad joy and privilege of raising them up for His honor and glory.  And despite college letters...through inevitable stretching, changing, and pain, I'm preparing my heart for that "someday" when we'll launch them to meet their mark.  May we joyfully, obediently, willingly, and confidently release them to bring glory to the gospel.