My "Missions Trip" 2011

My husband and oldest son have been on a missions trip to Mexico for the past week.  I'm excited and filled with anticipation about all that God is doing in their hearts...how He is using them...what He's showing them...how He is opening their eyes to the people of this world and expanding their worldview. 

Throughout the past 19 years in ministry and this particular season of motherhood, I've frequently been the one to stay behind during these kinds of trips.  Admittedly, now that our boys are getting older, my opportunities have expanded a bit and I'm able to share in a good deal more than I could when they were younger.  Still, I recognize and embrace that my first priority and place of ministry needs to be here among my ever-growing boys. 

With that said, I've realized over the years that even when I can't be "out there"---across the border or across the ocean---God has specific things He desires to do in MY heart during these trips.  Despite the fact I'm not "down there," He has plans for me this week, too. 

I feel like I've been splayed out on the table for my Father God to do some serious convicting, revealing, and cutting away on my heart.  Curled up on the couch with my Bible last weekend, the tears fell unstoppable as He peeled back layers of habitual sin...things like worry and fear.  He shone a light in the dark corners of my heart and revealed the unspoken (but somehow expected to be understood) expectations that lie in wait; the idleness that so often prevails. 

And, ouch.  It hurts so good.

He opened my eyes to the ones beneath my roof.  I took each of my sons out on dates and was reminded of their unique wirings and gifts; their strengths and weaknesses; their abilities and needs.  I listened...really listened...to their hearts (and to my youngest, especially, who was most vocal about expressing how much he misses his dad and brother).  I was blown away as my eyes were opened to some new things God is doing in them, particularly in regard to leadership.  We laughed like crazy.  We danced.  We read.  We prayed.  We ate cookies and popcorn shrimp and Frappuccinos.  We invested in one another and made memories. 

The week returned dearly loved ones to my world, and I'm grateful for the connections God provided me with so many this week.  While I'd like to think I was ministering to and encouraging them, it's most often I who walk away the most encouraged. 

I even tackled some home painting projects and gave our oldest son's bedroom a mini-makeover (shhhh).

So, no, I haven't dug out my passport or crossed any borders for a while.  I haven't lived the amazing stories my husband and son and their team will share upon their return.  There is certainly much they've experienced that can't be duplicated or even put into words (but I'll eagerly listen as they try).  But even though I was "just" at home this week, God was clearly present and at work in this selfish heart of mine.  And I'm thankful...so very thankful...for the mission He laid before me.