He Married a Sinner

Was it a set-up?
Was I conditioned to believe a lie?
We'd finally be together after being separated for the better part of 3 1/2 years.
We'd be married. together. never again apart.
I'd adore him.  He'd adore me.
Me and him.  Him and me.
Happily ever after.
The end.

But it was only a few months into our marriage that I was feeling forgotten.
He'd gotten a new job.  We lived in a new state.  He was busy.
I'd whisper, "Hey, remember me?"
He didn't hear me.
I'd say it a little louder.
He still didn't hear me.
I'd give him the silent treatment.
Then he'd take notice.
He didn't.
Finally I'd scream it (and punch a hole in the wall). 
That got his attention. 
And the need to hang a picture over the hole in the rec room paneling.

He'd be the first to admit there were things he needed to improve; things he was and wasn't doing.  But I'll leave that to him.  That's one of the things I needed to learn in those early years of marriage.  While I could look at his offenses and make a long list of things he needed to change, the only one I had the power to change was me.  I could rattle off his sins and shortcomings and failures, but the truth is, I needed the Word of God to shine a light on my own.  While I didn't want to acknowledge it, the list was there, glaring at me.  It was lengthy.  It was humbling.  And before I shook a fist telling my husband all the places he was wrong, it was time to address my own sin. 

Carolyn Mahaney puts in this way: 
"Like a pebble tossed into a pool of water, awareness of our sinfulness generates a marvelous ripple effect in our marriage.  Here's how it works:  The more we understand the sin in our hearts, the more we appreciate the patience and mercy of God; and this, in turn, produces an attitude of humility and mercy toward our husbands...When we see our husbands as sinners like ourselves---sinners in need of God's grace and mercy---it strips away any intolerant, critical, or demanding attitude we may be tempted to have.  Every husband has areas he needs to change and grow, but so do we!" (Feminine Appeal)

God uses marriage---husbands and wives (with all our quirks and shortcomings and imperfections and sins---to make us more like Him.  I'm so grateful His grace is ready and available and sufficient for every need we face.  It's His grace that transforms marriage between two forgiven sinners and makes it a beautiful reflection of His love.  Because of His grace, we have hope and promise. 

It just keeps getting better and better.

"We love because He first loved us."

1 John 4:19