Release

So, have I mentioned my baby graduates in just over a year?

Yeah, yeah.  I know.

You're probably sick of hearing about it.  

I've written about it frequently.

It's always on my heart;

always in the back of my mind.

In the midst of this new, uncharted territory...

and despite the fact I've never prepared to launch and release a son before...

and though I must regularly fight against the urge to cling and grasp and control...

God has been meeting me

and ministering to my heart 

and preparing me for this unfamiliar, sometimes scary place.

I shouldn't be surprised.

That's just how He is.  

Take for instance, yesterday's message in church.

As I posted last week, we've been going through this incredible series through Philippians.  

It's been so rich and profound.

And yesterday was no exception.

(you can listen, too:  Yours to Count On 4/29/12)

Our pastor preached from Philippians 2:19-30,

the very passage Luke and I had committed to memory the previous week.  

But the Holy Spirit so personally brought it to life and applied it to my heart.

It simply took my breath away.

Paul, as we already said, was locked away in a prison cell.

And from that dark place,

he wrote encouraging words of truth and love to the beloved people of Philippi.  

His desire was to send Timothy and Epaphroditus to the Philippians---

two men who had encouraged Paul and bolstered him in his own faith.

Oh, how he loved them!

When Paul so deeply needed the encouragement and companionship himself,

his heart's desire was the good of the people he loved.

Despite his own personal loneliness or cost,

he was committed to living out Philippians 2:6-8:

Christ Jesus, "who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

Christ did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped.

He let it go.

Released.

And likewise, Paul refused to take ownership of Timothy and Epaphroditus.

He let them go.

Released.

All for the greater cause of Christ.

All for the gospel.

It poses the question:

Will I retain my sons?

Or release?

Will I stubbornly cling to my will?

My comfort?

My needs?

Or will my mind and my heart reflect Christ

in the way I love

and trust

and empty myself?

Will my "Timothys" see a mom who

humbles,

pours herself out,

and releases in faith,

fully knowing we can count on our God?

Now before you quickly jump to my defense and tell me I'm being too hard on myself,

I want it to be understood that I am cutting myself some slack.

A lot of the emotions I face in this current season are just part of the territory in this remarkable journey called motherhood.  

They're part of the process.

Yet I am thankful that God is faithfully filling my heart and mind with the truth of His Word;

He's showing me---He's modeling---

how to live 

selflessly,

sacrificially,

obediently.

He gave up His rights

and showed me what it is to give up mine.

I can release because He did.

He's mine to count on.