[open hands]

Those first wobbly steps.
My arms open wide as he toddled tentatively toward me.
Walking together,
his chubby fingers wrapped tightly around mine.
Growing confidence, growing skill.
Soon he ran giggling
the opposite direction.
Release.

The first time he crossed the street without me.
Standing at the window, craning my neck to see,
praying I'd taught him well.
Look left, look right.
No traffic from either direction.
He crossed safely.
Such an ordinary occurrence.
Little did anyone know my heart was in my throat.
Release.

Not long after it seems,
realizing that Firstborn was old enough to keep watch over his younger brothers for a brief time.
Driving away from home,
our three young charges waving with big cheesy grins.
Everything in me screaming to turn around,
but resisting and choosing to trust.
Let go.
Release.

The first bike ride across town.
"I'll take the less traveled route, Mom."
Didn't he know that any route that took him away from my watchful eye was torturous for this mama?
I gave him last words of admonishment.
"Wear your helmet,
obey traffic signals,
call me when you get there,"
blah, blah, blah.
God pried open my fingers.
Release.

The day he left our home school and stepped foot in a high school of 1,600.
Despite the confidence in his voice,
that flashing smile that tried to assure me it was ok,
I sat fixed behind the wheel outside his high school,
long after he was gone from sight.
I willed to drive away and
to entrust him to the One who loved Him even more than I.
Release.

I see it clearly:
The day he grabbed his car keys and---
again with that winning smile---
charged out the back door,
the screen door slamming behind him.
Confident, he drove to his first job interview.
"Not so fast.  Slow down," my heart cried.
Release.

Over and over again,
release.
Each milestone.
So ordinary, yet so incredibly big.
Wondering if the ache would lessen or go away.
Wondering if it would get easier.
Realizing I just needed to settle in for more of these kinds of moments.
For this is the stuff of life.
Releasing our grip in holy surrender.
Letting go.
Trusting and believing that God is God.

God---in His loving grace---allows us
the privilege of pouring into these little ones;
investing in their hearts and lives;
teaching them about their Creator's love;
inspiring them to love Him back and
showing them He is worth everything.

Look back, dear one.
Look back at all your yesterdays and
remember.
Whether you're just out of the gates on
your parenting journey
or feeling exhausted because you've been at it a while,
our God has been building line upon line,
grace upon grace,
moment upon moment.
Each milestone of yesterday has prepared us
for the milestones of today.
He's faithfully carried us through
and provided for each and every need.
There's not one moment He's left us on our own.
He's shown us He can be trusted.
And so with open hands
and surrendered hearts,
we release our precious children to Him and say,
"Yes, Lord, have Your way...
in both of us."

"For this child I prayed, 

and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to Him.  

Therefore I have lent him to the Lord.

As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord."

1 Samuel 1:27-28