[another mother]

Sometimes I convince myself I'm the only one.

Silly, I know.
Even now, seeing the words glaring back at me on the computer screen,
I recognize how absolutely ridiculous it is;
a lie from the pit of hell.
As Eve listened to the Deceiver,
I listen.
I tell myself
that no other mom has felt the anguish,
the heart wrenching pain,
the longing to hold on tight and never let go.
"No one else understands," I tell myself.
No one can know the depth of emotion in a mom's soul as she prepares to release her firstborn.

But God (again, my favorite words in Scripture)...

But God does not allow me to wallow in self-absorption and pity.
He loves me too much to leave me there.
He woos.  He convicts.  He lifts my eyes to His.

He reminds me of another mother.

A mother who carried her baby beneath her heart for 9 months;
who cried for sheer joy at the sight of him;
who cradled him and dreamed for him.
He reminds me of a mother who initially questioned God's plan to use her in the life of her precious son, yet whose heart was to be obedient to the Lord and allow Him to have His way in her (Luke 1:26-38).
She believed Him.
I'm reminded of a mother with a tender heart;
who took it all in and embraced it;
a mother who quietly reflected on God's grace and promises (Luke 2:19, 51).
But this faith-filled woman was human.  Flesh.
While she faithfully trained and nurtured and poured into her son, she sometimes had difficulty trusting and releasing (Luke 2:41-52; John 2:1-12).
She was a mother whose very soul would be pierced by the suffering her son took upon himself (Luke 2:34-35).

No, I'm not alone as I tread this heart-squeezing road.
Mary walked it.
Mothers all through the ages have walked it.
And as Jesus hung on the cross in the final moments of his earthly life,
Mary experienced letting go in a way the rest of us cannot possibly fathom.
Yet in His suffering,
Jesus' love was on display.
And His heart for His mom---and for each of us---
was evident (John 19:25-27).

When life is uncertain,
when it hurts,
when the inevitable goodbyes come with increased frequency,
we have this Savior and his unending, never-changing love.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  

Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."  

Romans 8:35, 37-39