"Jonny World"

My husband is the eternal optimist. Truly.

In fact, I've often teased him about living in "Jonny World" where everything is happiness, sunshine, and joy...all the time.

If I happen to burn or overcook something,

he tells me that's how he likes it.

If he gets skipped in a rousing game of "Phase 10,"

he celebrates! No kidding! In his mind, it means

he's in the lead and is viewed as a threat.

If money is short, he looks at it as an opportunity

to be awed as we watch God provide.

If one is going through a trial, he truly feels it

and walks through it with them,

but embraces it at a chance to

experience God's grace & faithfulness.

To be honest with you, it's sometimes maddening.

'Cause me? Not so much. I'm his complete oppposite.

If I burn something,

I view it as a failure.

If I get skipped in "Phase 10,"

the competitive side of me gets mad

(at least in a joking way).

If money is tight,

I worry.

If one is going through a trial, I feel it and

internalize it and take it upon myself.

Sometimes I joke that I want a one-way ticket to "Jonny World."

Despite our natural tendencies to lean one way or the other, God has provided tremendous balance between us over the years. It didn't happen all at once. It didn't happen without growing pains. And I'm not implying that we've got it all figured out.

I've been thinking a lot about age and getting older in recent days. I'm overdue for my hair coloring, so the gray hairs seem to scream at me every time I look in the mirror. I see fine wrinkles on my forehead. I can't run as fast as I did when I was a teenager. The pictures of today look quite different from the pictures of 10 years ago. My "babies" are now young men, so I'm obviously no longer the youngest mom in my circle of friends.

Yet despite the physical reminders that might discourage me, my heart is feeling so encouraged this week. Maybe my husband is rubbing off on me a bit.

Perhaps the gray hairs are not so much a negative symbol of impending age, but a reward for hard-fought, hard-learned, "me"-changing lessons.

Perhaps those fine wrinkles could be better described as laugh lines ~ evidence of being loved wholly and completely; proof of laughing till it hurts, embracing life fully, and enjoying every single moment God gives me with the ones I love.

Perhaps rather than looking "older" in the pictures of today, it's merely "maturity;" reminders that God hasn't left me the way He found me. Oh no, He loves me too much for that! Through the mountaintops and the valleys, He's consistently and faithfully working to change me, refine me, and make me more like Him.

Perhaps rather than lamenting the swift passage of time, particularly in relation to our sons' growth and development, I can look at them and see grace stamped all over their lives. I can see how gracious and good God has been to bless our lives with them and give us the awesome privilege of parenting such incredible young men.

I think I'm finding it's not a one-way ticket to "Jonny World" I need after all. Instead, it's a Christ-centered perspective; one that sees from an eternal view, rather than from my limited, self-centered, self-serving one. I'm [slowly] discovering that when life is filtered through the lens of God's Truth, we have greater reason to hope, greater reason to be content, greater reason to rejoice!

No, I'm not the same 19-year-old girl who said "I do" nearly 18 years ago. And I'm not the same 20-something mama who gave birth...3 times...in the '90's. And you know what? I'm glad, 'cause by God's grace, I'm a little more like Him.

***One more thing! As far as the running goes...I've decided my inability to run like I did in bygone days isn't a negative thing either. Back in the day, when I was a record-setting sprinter, Jon couldn't catch me. Now he can. :)

It's a good thing.